In our search for the truth of an issue, it is not unusual for one spouse to discover it before the other one does. If that truth calls into question a long held tradition or something we were taught by someone we trusted (or even cherished), it’s only reasonable to expect some resistance when sharing your new-found understanding. I have dealt with this in my own mind, not wanting to let go of some things I’ve held tightly for years, while finding it difficult to ignore the truth that is being revealed. Consider this from Frantz Fanon, psychiatrist:
“Sometimes people hold a core belief that is very strong. When presented with evidence against that belief, the new evidence cannot be accepted. It would create an extremely uncomfortable feeling called cognitive dissonance. And because it is so important to protect the core belief, they will rationalize, ignore and even deny anything that doesn’t fit that core belief.”
Regarding naturism, for spouses who truly believe IT’S A SIN, we should be proud of them for refusing to participate. That is the first hurdle many Christians have to jump, but many never do. It’s not comfortable to jump hurdles, and without sufficient motivation most will never try. Some may step right up, jump in, and love it, while others require spending significant time reading, studying, and praying, before coming to the understanding that simple nudity is not sinful. (The reason for the nudity may well be sinful but that’s a different issue.) Having reached this point doesn’t mean one is ready to book their next vacation to a nude beach, but it is a major hurdle to have cleared. For most Christians, determining what God thinks about something is the most important task of all.
The IT’S A SIN mindset can easily be a cop out, too. Hanging that sign on your door and refusing to discuss it further is perhaps a form of cowardice, or worse: a form of dishonesty. We already know what God thinks about that. Challenging a lifetime of teaching is not easy. There has to be a real desire for understanding before we are willing to sacrifice tradition upon the altar of truth.
Having settled the IT’S A SIN argument, one then begins addressing the second most important question: WHAT WILL OTHER PEOPLE THINK!? This can be a very lonely time because it’s so personal, and requires one to become deliberately vulnerable! We know God already knows, and we can trust Him to treat us lovingly, but we’ve learned the hard way that people are not always so kind—particularly those closest to us! This is when husbands and wives must love as God loves, being persistently kind and caring. There’s no better time for living the Golden Rule. This isn’t a battle to be waged, but a heart to be won!
Perhaps we err in rushing to convince someone to embrace what we now see clearly. We present passage after passage as evidence, and show the results of word studies that reveal what certain Hebrew words really meant in the context and times in which they were written. We can easily move from that to speculation as to how it all should apply to us now. With all the reading, studying, talking and praying perhaps we need to slow down and take stock. Here’s what I’m sure of:
God made Adam & Eve naked and they all liked it. Then after the fall Adam & Eve didn’t like it anymore. The ‘liked it’ choice came from a Godly mind, and the ‘didn’t like it’ choice came from a corrupted mind.
Christ’s redeeming work did more than pay our sin debt, He freed us from our bondage to sin and its corruption! He was called the second Adam for a reason!
Romans 12:2 says, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
Once our minds are renewed, we start seeing the naked body with the mindset Paul encouraged in Philippians 4:8: “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”
Perhaps we should dwell on that for a while.
Aching for Eden 
Thanks Gil for a very thoughtful and meaningful article. I especially appreciated the simplicity of the “liked it” and “didn’t like it” phrasing. Sometimes a few new simple words sheds a great light on the subject.
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So true. Great phrasing!
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What a beautiful way to look at the difficulty of being able to understand how hard it is for some to “sacrifice tradition on the altar of truth.” It also is a good warning to those who are just using the “it’s a sin” cop-out to keep wearing the “world-view glasses.”
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“Sacrifice tradition on the altar of truth” – great line!
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R. B. Mears, I just wanted to let you know I finished your novel and wrote a review. Blessings!
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The “what will others think” mindset can be a cop opt as well but for many, this aspect is hard for them to overcome. They want to fit in and would rather not “rock the boat” or cause unnecessary trouble for themselves.
Another aspect not mentioned, and guess there are many, is the fact that some people actually love clothes and what they believe it does for them. You alluded to this when you mentioned being “vulnerable.” Some people don’t like that feeling. They don’t see it as a feeling of freedom as we naturists do.
Good, thought provoking article.
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I didn’t really care about clothes before, but now I really don’t care for them! Comfort is king. Last night I was in sweat pants and a t-shirt, what most people call the epitome of comfort and I was so uncomfortable! It wasn’t until everyone non family was gone that I could shed those “comfy” clothes, relax, and unwind!
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We agree. I work from home now except one day a week and that one day in the office almost feels like torture because of the clothes. This past week, I literally felt nauseous from how uncomfortable I was.
Of course, the point of my reply is that people object for many different reasons and some reasons amount to cop opts while others are how they legitimately feel.
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True
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Nice post Gil. As I was reading it brought to mind the traditions of the Elders which Jesus railed against. Sacrifice tradition on the altar of truth is a great way to put it
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Great article Mr. G.S Royal!
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Excellent article, same basic information I have given to many. I wish I were able to write articles as clearly as this. I will be sharing it with several others.
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I’m sure you could do it!
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I would be pleased to have you share my thoughts with anyone you think would benefit from them. I’m grateful to Mr. & Mrs. Phil for including them here.
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Anyone who’s read my books on “body acceptance,” especially the first two, can see how strongly I come down on a refusal to turn from tradition to the truth. But I must be careful, as Gil points out, in reiterating my research with a spouse who firmly disagrees with me. While my sweetheart may never, this side of Heaven, turn from her traditional viewpoint, our clashing beliefs about that or anything else should not, and never do, lessen my love for her. But it’s easy, when the subject comes up between us, to undermine my investment of affectionate care by fervently rehearsing my strong arguments. At those times, I’m forced to face my need to submit preacher-tendencies to the discipline of silently “letting go and letting God.”
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I heard a quote from Dallas Willard similar to your last statement. When a student at a lecture insulted the Christian faith, he quietly closed the lecture. When questioned as to why he didn’t defend himself, his response was, “I’m practicing the discipline of not having to have the last word.”
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In his book, The Spirit of the Disciplines, Willard spends several chapters arguing for the place of the physical human body as essential in spirituality. After reading it, I’m listening through it for the 3rd time.
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David,
You know from our previous conversations how important the issue of body acceptance is to me. It was during my research that God led me to your book, MEETING AT THE RIVER. I will forever be grateful for you and your influence in my life. Thank you, too, for leading me to AchingForEden. Mr & Mrs Phil are a blessing.
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Wise words, my friend.
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Many fine thoughts here! I am troubled by one, that bothered me some days ago when I first read it but am just now getting back to it.
You say, ” Here’s what I’m sure of:
God made Adam & Eve naked and they all liked it. Then after the fall Adam & Eve didn’t like it anymore. The ‘liked it’ choice came from a Godly mind, and the ‘didn’t like it’ choice came from a corrupted mind. ”
I am not confident that Adam and Eve were even especially aware of nakedness, as they knew no alternative. I am sure they did like it, as with all of the delights of the Garden that God had created, but just not especially aware that it was a “thing”. I see no reason to believe that they did not STILL like it after they sinned, though the accuser made them think (perhaps) they should feel shame or guilt over it. I am not confident from the Genesis account if their attempt at covering was from inappropriate shame of nakedness (as they were husband and wife, and had been around God before while not covered), or an attempt at camo in order to hide because of the shame of disobedience. There is no evidence that I know of that they desired to be covered more than uncovered, however.
So, I think the “Godly mind; corrupted mind” and the idea that Redemption changes that is a false premise, with respect to the nakedness. There never was anything wrong with their nakedness, and Redemption does not alter that. The idea that it does leads to the idea that only the Redeemed can be naked in purity, and I do not believe that is so. I believe those that do not yet know their need of Redemption can have a clear conscience and right thinking about simple nakedness, and practice it without sin.
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This point is well taken. If redemption was the cause of a reversal of attitude about the body, all Christians would “like” being naked, and the unsaved might not, which we know is not the case. I too believe our first parents had no idea of what “naked” meant, because their bare state was just normal life. The deceiver’s instruction to them conveyed a new concept: this part of human reality needs to be hidden. “Naked” was a newly contrived term because nothing in creation had ever yet been hidden so as to become “naked” by being uncovered. Satan’s deception is ongoing, but some naked-people groups evidently rejected it, until Western culture reinforced the deception upon them, and Christian missionaries did this by the culturally idolatrous practice of mixing porno-prudery into the message of Christ’s Gospel.
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Thank you for your responses. I’ve been thinking of them for days. Apparently I implied much more than I intended by saying, “and after the fall they didn’t like it.” Perhaps I should have said “and after the fall, for some reason they chose to cover up.” But I don’t see the problem with the original statement. Regardless of the decision, it was made with a corrupted mind. But that doesn’t mean that my corrupted mind (or yours) will make that same decision. Some of us deal with body shame and some of us don’t. I didn’t mean to imply that redemption was the cause of a reversal of attitude about the body, but that having broken the bondage to sin that the first Adam put under, Christ made it possible to have renewed minds, and that if body shame was your particular form of bondage, you now could be freed from it .
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Hmmm.
What is the evidence for what you say, “… after the fall, for some reason they chose to cover up…”? God provided coverings; He did not instruct A&E to use them, as far as we know. I wear gloves and shoes when I need them, but not always; my choice. I am not sure what they chose.
Another interesting thought, that seems to me a bit of a twist: “…it was made with a corrupted mind.” A&E GAINED the knowledge of good and evil through their disobedience. I have never thought of this as a “corruption”, but rather as a new RESPONSIBILITY, one that God never intended them to have. Now they had the ability to make choices, based upon conscience. Not necessarily a good thing at all, but still it seems a twist to see it as a corruption of the mind. The corruption comes with disobedience, the result of a wrong choice.
“…if body shame was your particular form of bondage, you now could be freed from it .” There is a confusing conflagration here, it seems to me. You speak of “bondage” as being related to sin, it seems like. I suppose “body shame” could be seen that way, as it would be derived from a sense of SELF, and shame is really a form of PRIDE. So, if Redemption and the renewing of our minds gives us the ability to choose correctly about turning away from pride, I see your point, and agree.
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this is all very in`teresting to me. i necer concidered any of thease points
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Glad you found us and something to think about!
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Hi Phil, I sent something on the “Contact Us” button a little over a week ago but haven’t heard anything back. I am wondering if that link doesn’t work or if I just don’t have the website savvyness to figure out how to read your response. Probably the latter.
Anyway, I would love to be able to chat with you via this website, or email if that works better. I am at a similar place that you were a few years ago. To be able to be healed from pornography addiction and lust would mean so much to me and my marriage. I am having a hard time with getting connected and am hoping you can point me in the right direction.
If email works best, I can be contacted at waltice1@yahoo.com. I can even provide my phone number if that works better but prefer not to do that via this public reply.
Sincerely,
Wilson
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mychainsaregone.org is the website which brought me my cure. They challenge you to read it with an open mind and an open Bible. That bit is important. In my search for a cure, my wife and I, you might say, accidentally camped at a place which had nudist sites hidden in the bush at the back of the property. We only saw one elderly gentleman who had come up to the clothed part to refill his water drums. He was wearing a towel. But that messed with my head. My grandmother taught me to read the Bible through once a year. I have done that. I couldn’t actually say that the Bible said that nudity in a naturist sense was sinful so when I got home I started searching. What concerned me straight away was that most well known commentators, who said yes it’s sinful, seemed to be cherry picking scripture. Then I found, My Chains are Gone. I found people who took scripture really seriously. It took a day and a half for my pornography compulsion to evaporate. And evaporate is the best way to describe it. It is written be a number of pastors who came to similar conclusions, separately. They are not pushing naturism, they are claiming a biblical understanding of the human body. I have had some communication with the main pastor behind the website. He always tells me to encourage guys to go through it with their wives. That way they’ll be on the same page.
I’m praying for you and your wife.
Paul B
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Paul B.,
Interesting that your porn problem ‘evaporated’ in less than 48 hours. I’ve noticed the same thing happening to two friends of our youngest son. All three are 17, multi-sport athletes and driven, but his friends had porn problems. Recently, they no longer have that issue. You can tell, too. They’re much more free and even more driven.
I wasn’t really sure how they got free from it. Then after reading your comment, I think I now know how. In fact, I’d say our son’s friends would agree in a heartbeat.
Last summer, they started skinny dipping at night at our boathouse to the hilarity of the neighbors. And our son’s friends really like our outdoor shower and the requirement that all males must be naked to use the hot tub.
Then five weeks ago, they started sleeping over at our house at least once per week. They’re adamant about it, blocking off one night a week, and their parents are tremendously supportive. Since my son and I sleep in the bare and freely walk around naked after our showers until bedtime, I explained to them the difference between ‘awrom (Genesis 2:25) naked with no shame, and ‘ewrom (Genesis 3) naked with shame. They dove into ‘awrom like their lives depended on it. It’s come in increments over the past weeks, but now they walk about our house naked whether or not my wife and our daughter see them. They’re telling us they are starting to be much more naked in their homes, too. If there’s a demon called ‘shame,’ I bet it screamed in holy terror as it flew off of them.
What’s also amazing is that when they last slept over a couple nights ago, they were wanting me to know that they’re talking to God about their personal issues, about their futures in education, work, marriage, having their children, and wanting His wisdom in it all.
I was amazed. When I pointed out the remarkable changes we’ve been seeing in them, they were quick to tell us that it all started when they began spending the night at our house.
It’s as if the more they embrace their own nakedness knowing that they are created in God’s image and are His glory (1 Corinthians 11:7), their faith increases. It’s truly remarkable. Six months ago, we didn’t see any of this.
We haven’t done much. They really enjoy my wife’s cooking and they bring their Bibles wanting to hear the few words God gives me for them. That’s really all it is. But the Spirit of God is the One who has changed them. And He started it with the knowledge and wisdom of ‘awrom-naked, helping them to throw off shame.
I thank you all who have written books on the subject. I began reading them a year ago. You set in motion something huge, and I doubt any of us know how many times what is happening to our son’s friends is also happening all across the country where boys are becoming men.
Trev
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Wow. That’s awesome.
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Thanks Paul. I have saved the site and will take a quick look. My hope and prayer is that once I broach the subject of Christian Naturism with my wife, she will be willing to go through some of these sites and articles from Aching for Eden with me. An open mind would be a great step in the right direction.
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I wouldn’t broach the subject of Christian naturism. Look at the website. I was free long before I considered myself a naturist. The thing was that after my views of the body had been corrected I had to consider how to live that out. My wife is definitely not a naturist and I’m not in a position to live that way full time.
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Read the website. It is really important that you deal with the issue.
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At least I wouldn’t breach the subject of Christian naturism yet.
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Will do. Thanks
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