The Freedom of Naturism

These are my highlights and thoughts on excerpts from this book on Kindle: “The Freedom of Naturism: A Guide for the How and Why of Adopting a Naturist Lifestyle” by Augustine Rae

(My own thoughts will be in italics.)

Location 31

Another word for “naturism” is “nudism,” which should be rather self-explanatory. Due to Judeo-Christian-Islamic influence, however, there are a lot of negative connotations associated with it. Despite the separation of church and state (at least in the West), religious sensibilities still play a very powerful influence over civil law, which is why you can be arrested for being naked in public. Even the irreligious, as well as those of an atheistic bent, have been conditioned to think of nudity as being something wrong. It is associated with vulnerability and shame at best, or with sexuality and arousal at worst.

This is what makes this innocent and even healing activity seem nefarious to so many. It is unfortunate that a state of mind (that comes from a state of undress) which has so many benefits is disregarded almost wholesale without a second thought. Those who are courageous enough to investigate the naked truth for themselves will likely reap the rewards their open minds have allowed them to see. Even those who ascribe to the Christian faith can not only reconcile the practice to their faith, but find it enhancing their relationship with their Creator God.

Location 39

Adam and Eve ate of the apple of knowledge in disobedience of god’s law. And what did they learn? The first thing they learned was the difference between good and evil. The second thing they learned was that they were naked. And thus was born the fashion industry.

While this book is not a Christian or theological book, I like that line that “thus was born the fashion industry.” That could seem like an over-simplistic and not the point of the passage sort of treatment of the text, but it’s not far from the truth. Clothes really were man’s idea (or the serpent’s influence), not God’s. See Genesis 3:11 and God’s “Who told you…” question.

Location 52

Naturism is antithetical to all of these [standards of dress]. It does not seek to conform to any societal definitions of modesty—quite the opposite, in fact. It believes that going about naked (sans penis gourds, sarongs, and waist strings) whenever possible, is the ideal condition because it’s natural, hence its name. It also feels incredibly good!

Modesty is a much bigger issue than what is worn by a person. Search this blog for the keyword “modesty” and discover what real modesty is. And yes, modest nudity does feel incredibly good!

Location 125

Think about it. Clothes define people’s religious, cultural, and ethnic identities. Examples of this include the headscarves worn by some Muslim women, the turbans worn by Sikh men, or the Stetson hats worn by some in the American south. Clothes also reflect socio-economic status, separating the haves from the have-nots; think of Giorgio Armani versus cheap Chinese fake knock-offs. In the work force, they are sometimes used to denote hierarchy—especially the differences between blue collar and white collar workers, or between supervisors and underlings.

All this make me wonder— Jesus cursed the fig tree. The fig tree! We’ve been trying to use fig leaves since the beginning for problems that they cannot ever resolve. Why was it a fig tree that he cursed? Hmm…

Location 132

Naturists also believe that nudity is the default human condition. They argue that clothes are a manmade invention and that our ancestors managed without them long before the discovery of fur, leather, and fabric. They also cite the health benefits of the sun (in moderation and with protective creams) and of exposure to the elements.

I suffer from some undiagnosed skin sensitivity conditions that dissipate when I’m fully nude for extended periods of time. I have linked these closely to my having to wear clothes and the sun focusing on exposed areas like my face when all else is covered. I’ve also noticed that I can be fully nude on a sunny cold day (46 degrees the first day we visited a naturist park), and we were fine, as the body acclimated and the sun could hit us all over. We would’ve been cold with clothes on, but were just fine without them. This is to say nothing of the therapeutic and psychological benefits of naturism as a natural antidepressant and stress reliever.

Location 135

From an ecological perspective, clothes generate an industry of waste. What’s hip today won’t be so tomorrow, forcing people to buy new fashions in order to remain proper and up-to-date. One must also consider the expense involved in cleaning, as well as the amount of chemicals and water used.

Going by what is deemed popular at any given time is not usually the smartest approach to anything. It’s taken me some time (and age) to come to this realization!

Common Misconceptions about Naturism:

Location 227

1) Nudist and naturist venues are places where people have sex

Most such places have strict policies in place which put a ban on public sex, photography, and outright exhibitionism—especially since many are open to families complete with grandparents and children. Outright voyeurism is therefore prohibited in many places, such as the banning of cameras. Violators are often expelled, blacklisted, and prosecuted.

Friends and family who we’ve told about us often wonder how such a practice could be family-friendly. Well, it is. You have to see it to believe it. And the judgments we often have are in our own minds and not based in reality. You have to have the right frame of mind, and unlink nudity to sex in your thinking.

Location 235

2) Nudist and naturist venues are sexually stimulating places

Virtually everyone who’s gone to such a venue finds the truth to be disappointingly otherwise. When everyone around you: men, women, children, the young and the old, are naked, sex is often the last thing to come to mind. Within a day or two, most forget that they and everyone else around them are nude. It’s called conditioning, as well as social acclimatization. Wearing a Frankenstein outfit may make you stand out at any other time of the year, but when Halloween comes around, chances are that you’ll blend right in with everyone else. In a strictly nudist setting, it’s the clothed person who stands out and gets stared at.

I’ve heard Stephane Deschenes say something to the effect of “Many come in for the wrong reasons, but they stay for the right ones.” That was certainly the case for me!

Location 244

Sexual arousal as a result of visual cues is a cultural construct, the product of social conditioning.

Wow! So true. It’s every guy’s reservation about even the thought of being around so many naked people, but it’s not an issue. Since embracing naturism and the truth of arousal being relational and not visual (as even the most popular Christian books promote this lie), I’ve easily ensured that only my wife is capable of making me aroused sexually. Naturism hasn’t negatively affected our love life in any way. Quite the opposite is true. Now we are drawn only to each other in sexual ways. Temptation for anyone else is gone. We base our love not on the exterior, but on our relationship (see www.mychainsaregone.org). I can’t claim this for every naturist, but Christian naturists see this dynamic very clearly.

 Location 251

Many find that it’s clothing that’s sexually stimulating, or at least, various states of undress. When nothing is left to the imagination, however, the fire surprisingly tends to die out.

There is clearly a disconnect in thinking that if certain body parts are covered, then it’s less “sexy” than if all was exposed. This comes from a pornographic mind and what’s needed is a renewed mind. Clothing and attitudes entice. A modest nude does not.

Location 260

Naturist venues are open to everyone: men and women, young and old, the beautiful and the otherwise. Even those who want to go to these places often stay away because they feel insecure about their bodies. These insecurities are exactly what naturism seeks to address, among others. It teaches that textilists are inherently judgmental and shallow because of clothing. Clothing is an artificial construct, subject to fashion, culture, religion, and even politics. As such, people are taught to judge others by how they look and by how well they try to fit in or not.

One of the many things I love about ethical naturism and core beliefs behind it.

Location 286

Since a number of these venues are family-oriented, many believe that children become sexualized at a young age. Registered nudist and naturist venues for families have strict rules that only allow children in if they are accompanied by their families.

It’s a misconception to say naturists are immoral people. They can be. So can non-naturists. The other common argument is against pedophilia. Naturists would agree pedophilia is terrible! That’s why background checks are done and everyone is protective of the little ones. Remember, a pedophile is often hiding and not out in the open exposing themselves. Clothing hasn’t stopped immoral people from their crimes in the outside world. The sad truth is that in many ways, kids are safer in family-friendly naturist venues than they are outside of them.

Location 291

Children and Nudity This is perhaps the biggest problem textilists have with naturists. With all the pedophilic scandals out there, many believe that children who grow up in naturist communities or with naturist parents become sexualized at a young age. Some have even argued that children who grow up in such a setting are victims and that their parents’ rights over them should therefore be terminated. Such accusations have prompted official studies into the matter, both here in America, as well as in Europe. There are a number of these studies available, so feel free to look them up on your own. The studies found that there is no correlation between pedophilia and nudity in the home. In fact, the sexualization of children is higher in more conservative, textilist families than in nudist or naturist ones.

Location 302

Studies of cultures where social nudity is the norm, or where social nudity is considered acceptable in certain situations, reinforces such claims.

Location 314

it is not group nudity that causes pedophilia or the sexualization of minors. Most victims of sexual abuse grow up in textilist homes, after all.

Location 319

Textilists who accuse naturists of pedophilia are not only hypocrites, they also reveal their own insecurities and repressed fantasies.

Naturist Ideals

Location 326

1) Nudity is natural. Nudity is the default human condition. Being naked, especially when outside, allows people to develop a greater rapport with nature. It also reawakens the human body to sensations that have become dulled through years of being covered up, making people more in tune to their body’s wisdom.

I’d say there’s even a spiritual component to the spiritually minded. I don’t worship creation, but being as created in creation does connect me closer to my Creator. I can’t explain it, but it’s a powerful experience.

Location 332

2) Nudity is healthy. Many naturists claim that being naked, especially in nature, has healing benefits, and that it can strengthen the human body against disease.

Location 336

Increased exposure to sunlight (in moderation) also increases the intake of Vitamin D which combats osteoporosis, diabetes, heart disease, and some forms of cancer.

Location 343

…clothing provides fertile breeding grounds for fungi and bacteria, which can result in body odor, yeast infections, athlete’s foot, and even urinary tract infections.

I had a reaction under my arms recently from my shirts. I spent a week at a naturist park, and no issues at all. The day we left and I had to put clothes on again, I had discomfort in the same spot!

Location 347

Tight belts, ties, and girdles can impede breathing. For men, tight pants increase testicular temperature, which lowers sperm count and reduces fertility. Surely there’s no need to get into the problems caused by tight shoes and high heels? On the topic of footwear, have you visited a pediatrician, lately? They’re now recommending going barefoot. It’s been found that going barefoot stimulates your brain into growing extra neural connections, which can prevent Alzheimer’s, boost memory, and improve cognitive ability.

It’s no wonder the clothes tend to come off at the first opportunity after a long day!

Location 354

3) Nudity promotes sanity. Many social nudists claim that they have less hang ups about their bodies and are more accepting of their physical shortcomings. They also believe that their lifestyle encourages a sincere respect for the opposite gender, while others claim that it reduces porn addiction.

This is so true. In the case of porn and respect for others, the renewing of the mind through a robust understanding of Imago Dei (image of God) with naturism as a catalyst has not only reduced by porn temptation, it’s eradicated it completely. Nudity does also promote sanity. I tend to get stressed more if I have extended periods of time without being able to be naked in nature as God intended from the beginning.

Location 360

4) Nudity promotes equality. This was discussed earlier. Without clothes, people have little else by which to connote social and economic status. Also, it becomes harder to denote religious, cultural, and political affiliations. As to one’s racial background, naturists argue that skin color and body hair aside, people tend to be pretty similar from the neck down.

In a naturist setting, you remember people physically by their hats or sunglasses or tattoos. You also get to the know the real them, and that’s more memorable in the long run.

Location 366

5) Nudity encourages honesty. Naturists believe that clothing promotes dishonesty and encourages hypocrisy. They insist that one of the reasons people become superficial is because they can hide behind clothes which can be tailored to make them seem other than what they are.

That’s exactly what I was just thinking and saying. We should all just ditch the fig leaves and stop hiding!

—————

This book is an easy, short read, and a great guide to freedom through naturism. Purchase your own copy here.

A Whole Nude World

A review featuring excerpts of “A Whole Nude World: Why You Should Come Join Us Today!” By Michael Douglas (not the actor!).

When this book came out, I bought it right away on Kindle and also a hardcopy. I did this one, because it seemed interesting and I always like to learn more about this subject, and two, because I’d seen on Twitter that the author tagged us in a thank you tweet. This was a surprise to me, as well as having our blog cited in several footnotes throughout the book. We were also listed first in the list of recommended blogs for Christian Naturism. 

All this said, I appreciated a lot in this book. The constant encouragement to try it out for two days to see if all else that is said is true. He maintains that after only one visit, nerves and other factors may not paint the full picture for you. He takes a brief looks at the history of the movement. He also includes Christian issues that are commonly seen as objections and a reconciliation of these ideas. The author set out to write the book he wishes was available to him when he was researching naturism as an American and a Christian. This is an admirable desire and contribution. Some political concept are brought up from the conservative point of view, but are minimal.

I ended up buying another hardcopy to give away to a friend to introduce them to the idea and benefits of naturism. One critique is that it could’ve been shorter in length, more brief. It’s a good starter book with practical advice. What I like to do in these reviews is post some of my highlighted excerpts and let the author’s work speak for itself (good or bad). So here are some of my favorite quotes:

Many Americans have unquestioningly passed down the puritanical mindset about nudity cemented in the Victorian Era: nudity presumptively equals sexuality. p.8

I wanted my friends to know that the Holy Bible and naturism are compatible; people who proclaim Jesus Christ is the Son of God participate in naturism even today. Some Christians have believed and taught myths about the human body and many people still believe and teach them by relying more on what tradition says rather than what God has actually said. p. 9

People who spend time naked are often happier than clothed people. This is why many times you see pictures of people enjoying naturist places or naturist events, the people in the group photos are smiling. Naturists write anecdotes on Reddit, their blogs and other online places about how naturists seem to be friendlier than other people. p. 44

Minds take time to change, especially on this issue where the opposite view is prevailing and has been reinforced for decades; rarely does a full-blown change happen overnight. Be patient. p. 70

…you won’t be judged based on your appearance. The people you meet at a naturist place have seen it all before—birth marks, scars, all stages of pregnancy, stretch marks, signs of aging, tattoos, piercings, pubic hair, etc… Concerns about your particular look, while understandable, will be greatly minimized because it’s not novel and your personality is what matters. You are a unique individual, a Designer’s original; at a naturist place, you will be respected as one and people want to listen to you and hear what you have to say. Being naked is a very freeing experience. p. 72

You didn’t let your nervousness over driving alone immediately after you got your license stop you from driving a car ever again and now driving is nothing remarkable. p. 74

The idea that children are harmed by viewing the nudity of adults lacks substantiation. In fact, Swiss psychiatrist Helga Fleischhauer-Hardt reached the opposite conclusion as the famed Dr. Spock and Dr. Brothers. “No evidence supports claims that exposure to nudity produces a higher number of psychosexual problems in either children or adults who were raised in such an environment.” p. 82

Of all the clear moral laws in the Bible, Christian naturists have not found verses supporting the universal clothing mandate taught by many people. p. 87

Since the Bible does not explicitly call public nudity sinful, Christians should not be elevating or equating our personal policy preferences to meet the standard for what defines a sin, as God said adding to His Word is problematic. p. 90

“Nakedness was such an ordinary part of everyday life for the ancient people of God that their identity, through circumcision, was never in doubt.” p. 91 (quoting Bob Horrocks)

You will encounter people as whole people and not just for the collection of parts barely covered like on a textile beach. The cultural standards people place around clothes and nudity make objectifying women a bigger problem because certain parts are covered…. If the laws were repealed against nudity, people could see more skin: the penis, breasts and vulva would lose much of their mystique as nonsexual nudity normalizes. A federal judge recognized this when she wrote the following in her ruling “The irony is that by forcing women to cover up their bodies, society has made naked women’s breasts something to see.” p. 94

Another way to recognize this is true is to argue that decades and decades ago, it would have been a scandal for a woman to show her shoulder down to her arm or a man to display his chest on a beach and sometimes showing that much skin resulted in legal problems, yet today Americans do not think anything of a topfree man or a woman showing her shoulder anywhere in the United States. p. 94

[On the stumbling block argument] That argument is summarized in a quote falsely attributed to Mark Twain: “Censorship is telling a man he can’t have a steak just because a baby can’t chew it.” p. 103

The naturist response to “nobody wants to see that” is nobody is looking at you or evaluating your looks. Naturists don’t believe that any part of the body is dirty, private or ugly because your body was created by God. We don’t hide our ears even though those are a twisted flap of skin and cartilage; if you want to consider any body part ugly, ears are a great contender; most people don’t think about their own ears or other’s ears very much because they are just there. The naturist view is the rest of your body should be just like your ears. p. 107

Your scars, weight, and other perceived imperfections you notice when you are naked alone, but naked in a group of 2, 3, 7, 15, 50 other people, the imperfections you used to notice often matter little and you focus on the community experience and how much fun naturism is. p. 109

Whole studies have been done about how naturism relates to body image and studies show naturism helps people deal with body image issues and they are more confident and happier despite their perceived imperfections. p. 109

…experience comes from practicing, not just knowing about a topic. p. 142

You can see there’s lots of good content here. Of course, there are pages and pages more. Get your own copy on Kindle or paperback today!

Review of “Surfing for God”

This is a thorough review of “Surfing for God: Discovering the Divine Desire Beneath Sexual Struggle” by Michael John Cusick. I’ll say right off bat that while I’m often very critical of books that deal with overcoming pornography that are in the Christian “mainstream,” this one was quite good for the most part. It offers a more holistic approach which includes work and care for one’s soul. This component is often missing in the bulk of most books which typically aim at the management of behaviors without going deep to the source of those behaviors.

Normally on these reviews, I share excerpts that I highlighted while reading and notes which were my reactions (often upset reactions) to what I’m reading. In this case, I made many highlights, but few notes. My unique perspective as a Christian naturist is obviously missing, but what was also missing from this book were many of the man-made strategies that deserve serious scrutiny. My own thoughts will be italicized from this point on. 

Location 221 (Kindle): I am tired of the never-ending battle over lust.” A battle that so often leads to defeat. Borrowing from the shampoo bottle instructions, I call it the “lather, rinse, repeat” cycle. First, it begins with getting clean—genuine remorse and sincere repentance. Promising God that we won’t go there again. Then, for reasons we don’t really understand, we go there again. Eventually, when our shame overwhelms us, or perhaps we’ve been discovered, we come clean again. But this time we tell somebody and find an accountability partner. Finally, we commit to a new strategy by redoubling our efforts, trying even harder, checking in more often with our accountability partner, and maybe reading our Bibles more. It’s lather, rinse, repeat—with the emphasis on repeat. And the saddest part of this cycle is that most men see no alternative. We’re seemingly stuck with two choices: either suppress our passions or give in and indulge them. We know in our hearts that porn is not God’s best for our lives. But in the heat of the moment, it seems as if there’s nothing better than porn. We desperately need another way to live.

I would agree. I call this the guilt and shame cycle in a chapter of the book I’m currently writing.

He says in Location 257, Many approaches exist for healing compulsive sexual behaviors like porn addiction. By offering my framework, I am not in any way criticizing other approaches.

I guess I am unapologetically criticizing other approaches. But I’m offering a critique of the strategies (which have been found to be woefully inadequate) not the individuals themselves.

Page 7 · Location 370: Who says viewing porn is wrong when our culture tries to reassure us that it’s natural and normal—in fact, based on popular consumption and the ten-billion-dollar industry it generates, you’re abnormal if you don’t view porn!

This is a sad reality we have to deal with. I offer a different spin on the “Normal vs. Natural” debate in this post.

Location 473: …the compulsion toward porn far exceeds the thrill of orgasm or appreciation for a woman’s body proportions. It involves far more than viewing a new stimulating sexual position or a hotter, more provocative partner. In the same way, overeating is not about food—something else compels the food addict to eat an entire one-pound bag of M& M’s in one sitting. Compulsive shopping is about so much more than needing more stuff to put in our garages or closets. So, too, our sexual lusts and preoccupations with porn point to more than naked bodies or illicit sex.

I don’t care at all for some of this objectifying language, but I get that he’s building a case for a focus on the soul of the struggling man (or woman in many cases). I’d have to wholeheartedly agree that lust is about more than naked bodies. It’s about the heart, regardless of one’s dress or lack thereof.

Page 15 · Location 483: …we seek on the physical level what can only be obtained on a spiritual level, then we set ourselves up for a never-ending cycle that only leads to desperation, despair, and bondage. So if sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical pleasure, then what does that tell us? Almost a century ago, G. K. Chesterton wrote that the man who knocks on the brothel door is knocking for God. If he were writing today, he might say that the man who surfs the web for porn is surfing for God. If nothing else, this truth means that sex is a signpost to God. It also points us to the way He designed us as sexual beings—when we are most aligned with this design and intention, we are most powerful, complete, and fulfilled.

Great quote!

Page 15 · Location 489: Maybe you’ve heard the saying that in a marriage the sexual relationship is a barometer for the relationship in general. When a husband and wife enjoy a healthy emotional, relational, and spiritual connection, most of the time good sex follows. In the same way, a man’s sexual appetite is a barometer for what’s going on inside his heart. Your sex drive consists of more than testosterone and the buildup of seminal fluid pressing for biological release, more than being visually stimulated and feeling aroused. Sexual arousal is an accumulation of your experiences, deep needs, and unconscious beliefs. Your heart shares a deep connection to your body parts. The way you are sexually aroused reflects what’s happening deep in your soul, beyond your sexual organs. Indeed, sex is as much spiritual mystery as it is physical fact. The reality is that your heart needs something, and porn promises to meet that need.

Porn promises intimacy, but fails to deliver. Lust is a cheap imitation of the desire for true love that God instills in us. The master counterfeiter is hard at work to keep us from the real deal.

Page 16 · Location 498 Like all idols, porn promises us something we desire. In reality, it overpromises and underdelivers.

Page 17 · Location 526: What makes pornography so addictive,” wrote John Eldredge, “is that more than anything else in a man’s life, it makes him feel like a man without ever requiring a thing of him.” 2 The allure of porn is that—contrary to a woman in real life—it makes us feel like men, and it never rolls its eyes at us or rolls over in bed. Porn never reminds us of our failures, flaws, or shortcomings. It doesn’t evaluate our appearances or performances, our net worths or credentials. Porn doesn’t tell us to clip our toenails or put the toilet seat down. Porn doesn’t care if we are sullen, irritable, overweight, selfish—even undesirable. Porn’s only requirement of a man is a pulse—and maybe the click of a mouse.

And a heart that lusts after another person.

Page 18 · Location 537: So in the absence of felt strength, we turn to porn as if it were steroids for our soul. In our minds, porn makes us bigger, stronger, and more desirable. We get our fix and affirm our manhood. The seductive images reliably tell us that we are the man. But as we do with real steroids, we risk porn’s damaging side effects and possible public disgrace. Without this drug, we become just another guy and wonder if we make the cut. C. S. Lewis understood this when he wrote that every time a man masturbates, he chips away at his manhood.

While true, one note I had earlier which I did not include was that this book seems geared toward men only. Females also struggle with porn. The solution should be all encompassing.

Page 23 · Location 609: Porn promises power over women another way. Images and scenes of women being humiliated, degraded, and violated for the pleasure of men are now commonplace online. What is this about? Most often, it speaks to the clinical issue of tolerance, the idea that more and more of the “drug” is required to get the same effect. When more of the drug can’t bring about the desired effect, then it becomes necessary to change drugs. In the case of porn, changing drugs means seeking out scenes that are darker, edgier, and even more abusive. I’ve spoken with numerous men who began their online porn career by “innocently” searching for naked celebrity pics, but eventually ended up compulsively searching for violent and repulsive material they never could have imagined wanting before.

I’ve read over and over that this is the case. With me, I never got to this level, thankfully, but even a “low-grade” porn compulsion is destructive enough. We are made for better.

Page 25 · Location 639: Lust is the craving for salt of a man who is dying of thirst.—FREDERICK BUECHNER

Page 27 · Location 682: Jesus doesn’t call us to a self-improvement plan. Instead, He appeals to our deep thirsts and desires, even if we don’t recognize it.

Page 31 · Location 747: Jesus addressed the issue of lust. “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matt. 5: 27–28). The Greek word for “lust” in that passage is epithumeo, which means “to set the heart upon” or to “intensely desire.” Yet when Luke recorded Jesus’ words as He broke bread with His twelve disciples at the Last Supper—“ I have earnestly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer” (Luke 22: 15 ESV, emphasis added)—he used the same word, epithumeo, that Jesus used to describe lust. Was Jesus lusting? Yes. Was Jesus sinning? Of course not. He was deeply in touch with the deep and godly desires in His heart. Through the centuries, theologians and philosophers have referred to lust as disordered desire. Such a definition is extremely helpful in understanding Jesus’ two uses of the word for lust, as well as clearing up our own misunderstandings. Disordered desire results from desires that are disowned, demanded, or misplaced.

I love this. Such a good point!

Page 33 · Location 769: While we try to ratchet down our desires, God invites us to desire even more deeply.

Page 33 · Location 773: The problem with lust is that we’ve thrown the baby out with the bathwater. Think about it this way. Suppose you have just finished a hard day of cycling or hiking in the heat of summer. Extremely thirsty, you return to your vehicle and grab the water bottle you packed earlier that morning. You are aware that the water in your container is comprised of countless molecules, each containing two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom. For some reason, you decide that you will only swallow the oxygen atoms and not the hydrogen atoms. Despite your best efforts, you can’t do it because the two hydrogen atoms and the one oxygen atom cannot be separated. To separate them would mean you would no longer be drinking water, but something else. A man trying to suppress his lust is like someone trying to drink only the oxygen atoms.

Page 34 · Location 784: When we demand, we leave no room for love because we go from being lovers to consumers. A man compulsively drawn to porn does not have a problem with his desire. God created him with a natural attraction to feminine beauty. The problem is not that he is thirsty but that his desire has become a demand.

Page 40 · Location 881: Our hearts—the containers that hold love—are broken. That is why even when we drink deeply of God’s living water, we are thirsty again. Like clay water jugs with cracked sides, we leak because we are broken.

Page 42 · Location 903: As a man heals from his bondage to porn, he must understand his brokenness and allow it to compel him toward Jesus. Our brokenness is our only requirement for receiving God’s grace.

See, this is all excellent!

Page 42 · Location 913: [Jesus] was not giving an anatomy lesson. In a heated conversation with the religious professionals of the day, Jesus had been discussing what makes a person clean or unclean. The popular teaching was that a person was unclean for not having followed certain ceremonial steps. But Jesus turned this teaching upside down. “What goes into a man’s mouth does not make him ‘unclean,’” Jesus said, “but what comes out of his mouth, that is what makes him ‘unclean’” (Matt. 15: 11). His point was that no matter how many acts of obedience we perform, our problems are internal, not external. Our actions and behavior—what comes out of us—are just the tip of the iceberg.

Page 43 · Location 918: As if Jesus’ impassioned discussion with the religious rulekeepers were not enough, He went on to utter His harshest words yet, to those who believed that God should be impressed with their moral performances. “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. . . . First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean” (Matt. 23: 25–26).

Page 43 · Location 922: What this means for a man caught in the chains of porn and lust is crucial. If you could somehow magically stop looking at porn and exercise self-control in place of lust, you still wouldn’t be dealing with the problem below the waterline. You’ve only cleaned the outside of the cup and dish.

Such good insights!

Page 44 · Location 931: Understanding ourselves at this level is not about the “what” of our sin (I can’t stop looking at porn), but the “why” (porn promises to meet some need in me). The whys that explain our addictions can be categorized into four interwoven, underlying dimensions: wickedness, weaknesses, woundedness, and warfare.

He delves deeper into each of these in the book. Worth the read.

Page 48 · Location 991: …these men initially reported to me that they didn’t have any wounds. Not applicable. Not me. I’m good. None of them intentionally lied or tried to be deceitful. They had simply cut off that part of themselves in order to survive. The problem, however, is that the survival techniques that helped us go on when we were young prevent us from thriving when we are adults. Our solution becomes the problem. Until we realize that we are wounded, we will never recognize how we turn to porn as a balm to heal the injuries of our hearts.

Page 48 · Location 1001: Why, then, do we so often limit Jesus’ ministry to forgiveness and payment for sin? His death on the cross restored our relationship with God and enabled us to receive eternal life in heaven. But the restoration of our relationship with God also makes restoration possible in us. Eternal life doesn’t begin after we die—it begins right now.

Preach.

Page 50 · Location 1037: In the embers of your wickedness, weakness, and woundedness, the Enemy lurks, seeking to throw gas on the fires of brokenness.

Page 51 · Location 1043: The greatest barrier to the life of freedom that God desires for us is not our brokenness. It is brokenness unsurrendered. When we conceal or refuse to surrender our wickedness, weakness, and woundedness, they remain not only out of sight but also out of the realm of healing.

Page 56 · Location 1116: …porn is such a snare to our souls. It sells us a pack of lies by making us feel so alive . . . for a moment. But the “life” it hawks is 180 degrees different from the life Jesus offers. Porn’s “life” is a counterfeit…

Page 57 · Location 1132: When the devil tempted Jesus to turn stones into bread, he was appealing to Jesus’ legitimate desire for food. In the case of my knockoff watch, the legitimate desire was a longing for approval and acceptance, born out of my insecurity. With porn, any number of legitimate desires may fuel the lust—affection, comfort, strength, or affirmation. It might help to compare designer gifts with deceiver gifts.

Page 58 · Location 1155: Jonah warned us that we cannot keep both the counterfeit and the real at the same time. We must choose. “Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs,” he wrote (2: 8). Counterfeit worship renders us unable to receive God’s good gifts.

Page 59 · Location 1160: That’s what porn and lust do to us. They tell us we’re not going to receive God’s provision, that we’ll never be satisfied with His manna, so we’re better off finding our own. But the intimacy we experience in those illicit moments is a counterfeit intimacy. It makes us feel like men without requiring us to be men—until we wake up one day with a cheap imitation of intimacy in our top drawer.

Page 59 · Location 1163: We begin our journey from slavery to freedom when we expose the counterfeits at the root of our brokenness and admit our thirst for the real thing. It involves shifting our focus from the external objects of temptation (i.e., women and porn) and, as I said earlier, taking an authentic look at the spiritual roots under the surface.

This is where the concept of Imago Dei fully understood and implemented really comes into play. Women (and men) are not objects of temptation. It does help to look at the roots, but if you continue to see others as temptation, they will be.

Page 61 · Location 1190: …demonic spirits are attached to these idols (1 Cor. 10: 20). Scripture also warns that when we give ourselves to an idol, it ensnares and traps us so we cannot break free (Deut. 7: 25). We are fooled into thinking an idol is serving us when in reality we are serving it. We have fallen for a counterfeit “god” to worship. Unbelief lies at the heart of idolatry.

Reminds me of Romans 1, worshiping the created instead of the Creator.

Page 64 · Location 1240: What we see is the progression of compulsion. It starts when we turn away from God as our source of life and turn other things into idols that we’re convinced will satisfy our desires. We worship and serve “created things rather than the Creator”—that’s counterfeit worship. Along the way we try desperately to numb the painful realities in our lives—the discontent, disappointment, dashed dreams, or fears often going back decades and rarely related directly to sex. Rather than face what’s really churning beneath the surface, we opt for denial and distraction in fantasy “relationships” that get us off the hook from stepping up to the plate as real men. Our minds become “futile . . . foolish . . . darkened”—that’s counterfeit truth.

Haha, yep, we’re tracking together here!

Page 67 · Location 1283: …while guilt says, “I have done wrong,” shame says, “I am wrong.” Shame is a feeling (which quickly becomes a belief) that we are defective, flawed, bad, or worthless. The lens of shame always focuses not on what a person has done but on who the person is. It focuses on one’s self. The heaviness and torment of shame are unbearable. And the verdict is always the same—that at our core we are inferior, inadequate, or unacceptable.

I’ve said it before, shame is not of God. Conviction is, but it’s tone is kind, and God’s kindness leads us to repentance (Rom. 2:4). God is calling us wayward children home to embrace us (see Luke 15:11-32).

Page 68 · Location 1294: To be naked and unashamed before God meant that Adam and Eve were both free and able to offer to God exactly who they were, without holding anything back or hiding their true selves. They were fully known, just as they were created to be, and they were fully okay with that. This led to an uninhibited intimacy with God and with each other.

Page 69 · Location 1316: Vulnerability, once a blessing, became a liability. Unity, once a reflection of God’s nature, now divided them. Being known, once a gift, set them up for possible heartbreak. So they gathered fig leaves, not just to cover up physical nakedness but also to cover their nakedness of soul. Hiddenness became Adam and Eve’s self-protective strategy of choice in relationships.

Page 70 · Location 1329: Suddenly Adam and Eve were afraid of God. Their shame became a barrier to His offer of mercy, love, and care. Between the fig leaves and running for cover in the trees, they removed themselves from being able to receive what only God could offer.

You said fear and that’s what the text says? Where did shame come in? Why do you and others skip over God’s question of “who said you were naked?” Here’s what you glossed over. Our enemy must have told them they were naked and should feel shame over their bodies. They were married after all. They had no need to cover themselves without this deception.

Page 72 · Location 1351: For the most broken people in Jewish society, Jesus extended mercy, forgiveness, and hope into their sexual messes.

Amen.

Page 72 · Location 1352: This tells us that the voice of shame should never be confused with the voice of God. The voice of shame comes from our brokenness, not from our loving heavenly Father. God never turns away from our brokenness. But in regard to our shame, we have good news: “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Rom. 8: 1).

Page 76 · Location 1425: What are your wounds and weaknesses? They will become the place where the lies of the Enemy become your beliefs. That will also become the place where you take matters into your own hands to overcome weakness or find relief for the pain of the wound. Put simply, we hide, compensate for, or seek relief from our wounds and weaknesses. Our brokenness is also the place where we become vulnerable to the Enemy’s lies.

I do really appreciate the emphasis on the realities of spiritual warfare. I don’t see a demon under every rock, but have acknowledged the gravity of this truth that few talk about. That is why I am also writing a chapter entitled “The Real Enemy.”

Page 80 · Location 1483: Who might be an Eric to you—someone you could invite into your shame who would not be frightened by your nakedness? Who can you trust with you?

The author probably doesn’t even understand the full truth of this statement! This, after a heart-wrenching story and some real vulnerability on behalf of this Eric person. Christian naturism excels in this area by default in ways uncommon or even unattainable to most people.

Page 84 · Location 1524: Each time the cycle concludes and repeats, we descend deeper into a downward spiral that reinforces the previous cycle. In my case, I turned to porn and sex to relieve the pain of my brokenness. But each time I gave in, my shame poured gasoline on the fire, which increased my brokenness, which in turn increased my need to find relief. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Page 86 · Location 1552: External triggers can be obvious—like getting an e-mail solicitation for porn or seeing a beer commercial where an attractive woman bends over a pool table. External triggers may also be less obvious, like being home alone, having unrestricted computer access, or interacting with someone you find sexually attractive. Internal triggers include feelings and thoughts. Emotions such as disappointment, loneliness, rejection, anxiety, anger, and boredom are common triggers. Physical feelings, including fatigue, headaches, hunger, or chronic pain, can also serve as internal triggers. Thoughts can be more subtle internal triggers. A few examples include: I’ve been working so hard I deserve to reward myself . . . My girlfriend is so inattentive . . . My boss never appreciates me . . . If I were a real man, I’d know how to rock climb (or fix my own brakes).

Page 88 · Location 1581: Although I have not acted out sexually since 1994, at times the battle with lust can be intense. Recently, I noticed a pattern I had not been aware of. Whenever I would go to the grocery store, I made it a point to walk down the magazine aisle. As I walked past glossy covers featuring celebrities and models, I discovered that my energy and mood lifted ever so slightly. Even though I wasn’t stopping to focus on any given magazine, just walking past those images was like an afternoon shot of espresso. The moment we become preoccupied, our brains start releasing dopamine and adrenaline, our energy levels may increase, and our deflated souls begin to fill and rise like a balloon inflated with helium. I know men who haven’t looked at porn in years but who virtually live in the preoccupation stage. Their minds are constantly on the prowl for sexual stimulation, and they justify it because they aren’t using porn.

I don’t feel that pull anymore, at all, since changing the way of think about the body and the Image of God.

Page 93 · Location 1669: Our hearts are freed from the fixation on porn to be captivated by the beauty of God’s love, all so that our hearts can be given more fully to God and others.

Page 95 · Location 1689: Larry [Crabb]  just looked at me, dead serious, and repeated himself. “If what you really want to do is look at porn and masturbate, then go ahead and do it.” I could tell he wasn’t being flippant, but I also knew his integrity. So I launched back at him, “I know this must be some kind of reverse psychology or paradoxical treatment you’re trying on me, right?” The look on his face, however, told me this was not his intention. “I don’t get it,” I exclaimed. “Why are you telling me to go ahead and look at porn and masturbate?” In frustration, I hit my fist against the armchair and shouted, “That’s not what I want to do!” Larry’s eyes sparkled with delight. “Exactly!” he cheered. “That’s the point. Looking at pornography and masturbating is not what you really want to do.”

Great story. We must grow up and mature. Our identity is of one who does not resort to such childish habits. 

Page 97 · Location 1732: Some years ago a man said to me, “I wish I could go to a hospital and have my sexual addiction surgically removed!” Although he spoke in jest, his desire for healing was intense, and he knew he needed to get to the heart of his problem. Wouldn’t it be nice if a doctor could give us an anesthetic and then extract our sinful patterns—just like a ruptured spleen or an inflamed appendix? Of course, no such operation for the soul exists. And if it did, it still wouldn’t deal with the problem.

That’s right.

Page 98 · Location 1747: Throughout the rest of the sermon, Jesus made the point that obedience to the law begins and ends with the heart. Let’s face it: a blind person is just as capable of lusting as you and I are. Physical surgery won’t cure our lust. Jesus knew better than anyone else that the surgical procedure we needed was a heart transplant, not dismemberment.

Page 101 · Location 1788: The truth is this: God has dealt with sin in your heart. And having a new heart changes everything—including what you do with your eyes and hands and other body parts.

Page 101 · Location 1792: From the teaching I had heard, through Jesus’ death on the cross, my relationship with God was restored and the debt for my sins was paid. As a result, I was forgiven, and I was assured of going to heaven. Little did I know that although these truths were certainly real, the gospel involved so much more. I had no idea that my heart had been made new or what that actually meant. I had no idea that salvation was an absolutely essential door I entered, so that in Christ I might experience restoration.

Page 102 · Location 1811: Your sin nature is not your true identity. It’s not your deepest nature and it’s no longer your controlling disposition, proclivity, or propensity. Sin no longer defines you. Instead, here is the deepest truth about you: your sinful nature has been put off, or stripped away (Col. 2: 11), and you are dead to your sinful nature (Rom. 6: 11).

Yes, yes, yes!

Page 103 · Location 1826: Countless followers of Jesus have lived under a crippling theology that defines them by their sinful nature and a desperately wicked heart. But we must not confuse our sinful nature with our new hearts. Our sin nature was crucified with Christ. Our new hearts are alive with the very life of God beating in us. And our new hearts are good hearts.

Page 104 · Location 1835: If you set a bowl of carrot and celery sticks beside a bowl of potato chips on a table, which would seem more appealing and appetizing? I’ve always known that vegetables are good for me, and that chips may be an unhealthy option. But knowing that fact has rarely made a difference in my appetite. I want the chips! For the first twenty years of following Jesus, I associated God’s ways with the carrots and celery, and my ways with the potato chips.

OK, this is hitting too close to home now! I joke, but it’s true. In the same way I’ve overcome lust through God’s work, I now need to overcome gluttony and take better care of the body he gave me.

Page 104 · Location 1839: The gospel turns all of this upside down. The reality of the new covenant and your new heart is that deep down, your inclination now gravitates toward God’s heart and ways. “Delight yourselves in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Ps. 37: 4).

Page 105 · Location 1846: Following Jesus is not about not sinning; it’s about releasing His life from within. Like turning on the faucet. The goal is not to turn off the faucet of lust, but to turn on the faucet of trust. Trusting that God has restored my heart, and that my heart is good. Slowly, I began to understand just how much energy I had spent on sin management, trying to repress the cesspool I imagined within and keep the sewage inside from spewing out. As I stopped putting my energy into shutting off the faucet from the cesspool, my real passions began rising to the surface. The pipes in my soul were getting unclogged, and something was starting to flow that I didn’t know was there. I began experiencing what Jesus described as “a spring of water welling up to eternal life” (John 4: 14).

Page 109 · Location 1905: In light of current world conditions, few people would disagree that we are at war. Just look at ongoing problems with terrorism and countless murders from the illegal drug trade. Add to that grim reality the atrocities of genocide, childhood sex slavery, and sex trafficking, and few would deny the reality of evil. But speak of evil in the form of living, breathing personal entities—Satan and demons—and, well, that seems a little extreme to most people. Despite the visible evidence of evil, plenty of skeptics refuse to believe in a source behind that evil.

Here starts a whole section about the invisible battle in the spiritual realm. Again, I’m glad he included this.

Page 109 · Location 1910: And I can certainly understand. Even as a Christian, I haven’t always believed in the influence of evil spirits or demons. Until twelve years ago I held a strong—though largely unexamined—position against the direct influence of the Enemy in our lives. What would people think of me? Would I come across as some religious nut? As a part-time seminary professor, I didn’t want to appear intellectually unsophisticated.

Page 110 · Location 1913: I remained resolute in my beliefs until I encountered man after man in my office who struggled with all kinds of sexual brokenness. One man confessed that every time he looked at porn and masturbated, he immediately heard an accusing voice telling him he would never be free.

When I read this, I shuddered, showed Mrs. Phil, and we were taken back to a time that we fought an eerily similar battle. She heard those same words: “You thought you could be free? You’ll never be free!” With the most evil laughter. We will expand this story in our book. Suffice to say, this stuff is very real. The enemy does not want anyone to be free.

Page 113 · Location 1960: Theologian Christopher West remarked, “If the body and sex are meant to proclaim our union with God, and if there is an enemy who wants to separate us from God, what do you think he is going to attack? If we want to know what is most sacred in this world, all we need do is look at what is most violently profaned.” 2

I love reading Christopher West. This is a quote I had also included.

Page 115 · Location 1991: And once we grant the powers of darkness permission to influence us, the Enemy uses two important strategies to further deepen our bondage: footholds and strongholds… Paul very well could have said, “In your anxiety, in your lust, in your passivity, do not sin . . . and do not give the devil a foothold.”

Page 116 · Location 2010: Spiritually speaking, certain circumstances allow the Enemy to not only get in the door but also set up camp and stay for a while, all with the goal of conquering the individual.

Page 116 · Location 2011: Paul described the nature of our war against the Enemy’s strongholds this way: “For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Cor. 10: 3–5). Notice that Paul began with the assumption that believers are actively engaged in a war. He also reminded us that our weapons in this battle are distinctly different from the world’s weapons. Also, notice that Paul defined strongholds as “arguments” and “pretension”—beliefs and lies—that take root in us, and that stand in the way of knowing God. These falsehoods concern our perceptions about God, ourselves, or others. Lastly, notice the order of the warfare. Strongholds are demolished before every thought is taken captive. Countless men have told me that they cannot control, or take captive, their thoughts. But we cannot take our thoughts captive, or overcome any other sexual sin, until the stronghold has been demolished.

Page 117 · Location 2021: When the U.S. Navy Seals captured and killed Osama bin Laden, they didn’t walk up to his compound, ring the doorbell, and quietly request that Mr. Bin Laden come with them. Instead, they commandeered the heavily defended compound in which he had been living before taking his life. It works the same way in the spiritual sense.

Page 117 · Location 2028: First, you must announce the lie you have befriended. Below are some of the most common ones.

• I will never be sexually satisfied in my marriage.
• Sexual gratification is necessary for my well-being.
• I will always be ruled by lust and cannot change.
• Real intimacy is not worth the risk.
• I don’t really love God or I wouldn’t be struggling this way.
• My heart must be desperately wicked.
• I can never let anyone know my deepest struggles.
• I am not a strong and powerful man.

I have written about agreements in the post Onions Are Terrible.

Page 118 · Location 2045: Next, you must renounce the lie. In 2 Corinthians 4: 2 Paul declared that he had “renounced . . . shameful ways.” He didn’t say that he’d stopped them, or even repented of them. He said “renounced.” Renouncing means to formally withdraw from participating in the lie, like a gang member who renounces his affiliation in a gang.

…You may have believed the lie in your past, but you are deciding—by an act of your will—that you will no longer buy into it.

…Finally, we must pronounce the truth.

Such good stuff here: Announce the lie, Renounce the lie, Pronounce the truth.

Page 123 · Location 2111: Without understanding porn’s impact on the brain, too many men either quit trying to change or carry unnecessary guilt and shame when their spiritual zeal and willpower aren’t enough.

I love the brain stuff. It’s fascinating and important to understand.

Page 125 · Location 2159: If some malevolent being held a competition to create the perfect delivery mechanism to enslave our human desire, Internet pornography would win the grand prize. You must understand that online pornography is fundamentally different from the Playboys or Penthouses of past generations. If the magazines, videos, and DVDs of the past were like the Wright brothers’ plane at Kitty Hawk, then Internet porn would be a supersonic jet.

Page 126 · Location 2167: No one would argue that the orgasm is one of the most powerful physical, emotional—and some would say spiritual—experiences of being alive. Scientists have shown that in those moments of ecstasy and surrender, the release of serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin, and norepinephrine is as powerful in the brain as heroin. 

Page 126 · Location 2171: Internet porn overstimulates the brain. This occurs in four unique ways. First, our brains crave novelty, and the Internet provides an endless variety of novel sexual images. When I was a young man looking at magazine centerfolds, images lost their appeal within a short amount of time. But with online porn, new images are instantly available with the click of a mouse. With each new image, our limbic system releases a burst of dopamine, which tells us we gotta have it.

…The connection between novelty and sexual arousal is well established by what scientists call the Coolidge effect. After dropping a male rat into a cage with a receptive female, researchers initially observed intense copulation between the rats. Eventually, the male rat exhausted himself; even when the willing female rat wanted more, he was spent. However, when the original female was replaced with a new receptive female, the male rat immediately revived and began to copulate again. This pattern was repeated over and over until the male rat was literally exhausted. With the introduction of a novel sexual mate, this process will be repeated again and again until the male succumbs to exhaustion or death.

Page 127 · Location 2185: In food and substance addictions, a person either runs out of the drug or food, or is physically unable to tolerate more. A man can eat only so many pizzas or smoke only so much crack before reaching the obvious limits. With Internet porn, an infinite supply is available.

…And as long as a man has an Internet connection, he can continue to binge. This is why it’s not uncommon for addicted men to stay up all night viewing porn, and even lose track of time.

Page 128: Internet porn overstimulates the brain because it’s available on demand. Again, unlike substances that require the user to arrange for a fix, a man carries a forever stash of porn in his mind without even turning on the computer. Every time the images come to mind, he experiences a burst of dopamine in his neuropathways.

Pages 129-130: When dopamine is released in large amounts or for long periods, two things happen simultaneously. First, the receiving nerve cells get overstimulated and start removing receptors. It’s like when someone keeps shouting at you; you cover your ears. But the sending cells scream even louder (more dopamine) until they are hoarse, and can now only whisper (the amount of dopamine sent is below normal). With the receiving cells half deaf (fewer receptors) and the sending cells whispering (less dopamine released), you are left with two options—feeling awful, or finding porn, the one thing that now releases dopamine more than anything else. With porn this is a gradual process, yet it lies at the heart of addiction. Low dopamine signaling that leads to a numbed pleasure response is known as desensitization. It is precisely why men feel so helpless, so powerless, when they try to overcome their sexual addictions.

…Every thought, feeling, habit, skill, or behavior in your life has a corresponding neuropathway that fires in your brain. These pathways are designed to function optimally. However, as the brain’s reward circuitry gets entangled in a tug-of-war, the brain rewires itself for addiction and new neuropathways are created. Every time a man views porn, or eventually even thinks about porn, the burst of dopamine strengthens the connections between cells. The stronger the connection, the easier it becomes for cells to communicate on that path. This idea of the brain changing itself is called neuroplasticity.

Page 131: Our brains can be rewired from their addictive patterns. Just as you can reboot your computer and reset the hard drive, you can reboot your brain and restore the sensitivity of your brain circuits.

Page 132: …begin your first ninety days of abstinence.

Better than the first 90 days of abstinence is the first day of true freedom which brings instant abstinence for life. This is what my experience shows me is possible.

Page 133: Holding on to the idea that you won’t, or can’t, relapse is not only unrealistic; it’s counterproductive. If you fall, get back up. Some people hear the drama of my story and assume that I experienced an immediate breakthrough. But my journey from identifying my addiction to freedom took four years.

Mine was a breakthrough and took much less time (almost instantly).

Page 133: Determine the day you will commit yourself to sexual sobriety. Once you begin, keep a calendar to track the days, weeks, and months.

I did this and accountability. It didn’t work. There is a better way. Better than being sober for so many days or months is being new for the first day of the rest of your life. The author spoke of this being new earlier in the book. This is walking that back.

Page 136: Recent attention has been given to children and adults who suffer from NDD, or nature deficit disorder, as a result of spending too much time online or engaged in electronic media. Avoid this disorder by interacting with the outdoors in the sunshine, fresh air, and natural beauty of God’s creation. Get out and move! Pursuing alternative passions expands your horizons and rewires your brain at the same time.

Amen, and I could say much more about this!

Page 137: So be encouraged. Your struggle with porn is a learned response, in many ways, just like the skills of a pianist or athlete. Your brain can unlearn, and it can change.

Page 145: Modern Christianity has all but lost an understanding of the inner sanctuary. God never intended our faith to be a mere intellectual pursuit. He intended to restore humanity’s ability to walk with God. He calls us to walk with Him from an inward place. When we are disconnected from this place, this center, we gravitate toward anything nearby that gives us a false sense of being centered.

Page 146: I remember speaking with a man I’ll call Mark about facing the emptiness. With great frustration he related his difficulty of being able to sit still, remain attentive, or simply be engaged and present when he attempted to spend time with God. I assured him that his frustrations were a common struggle. Then I asked him what seemed like a totally inappropriate question. “What would it be like if during your time with God you were to imagine the hottest, most sexually appealing woman, and focus on her for twenty minutes? Would that change anything?” Mark smiled impishly. “Well . . . yes, but that would be a sin.” In no way was I encouraging him to sin, or even attempt to do what I was asking. But my hypothetical question allowed our conversation to take an important turn. What we ended up discussing was that he was able to be still, attentive, engaged, and present. The only requirement was that he had to be looking at porn. This was no small insight. With no awareness whatsoever that his brain had become wired for porn, or that he was addicted to his own brain chemistry, Mark had wrongly concluded that he just couldn’t engage and be attentive because he was somehow deficient and unspiritual. Do you hear the lie even here? The lie he came to believe was that he didn’t love God and must not care very deeply about the kingdom. As soon as he understood the basic way his brain worked, he was able to separate his brain rewiring from the novelty of porn from his true heart.

Page 147: Ten years ago I decided that I no longer wanted to live off of other people’s spirituality. I no longer wanted to settle for hearing about other people’s encounters with God, and only teach others what I could glean from the books I was reading. I wanted to experience God as David did. I wanted to dwell in the sanctuary of God and “gaze on the beauty of the Lord and . . . seek him in his temple” (Ps. 27:4).

Pages 149-150: …will solitude and silence, centering prayer, and inward attentiveness really make a difference in my struggle with porn? That’s a very important question. The scientific verdict is in, and the answer is a qualified yes.

I know what did work for me without any qualifiers.

Pages 156-157: Identifying what places, people, circumstances, or experiences trip your trigger is key. What provokes lust, craving, and movement toward porn? No trigger is insignificant if it serves as a cue to lust and craving.

He says to stalk your triggers. With a new heart and redeemed mind, you don’t want or be bothered by whatever used to trigger you. That’s called healing, peace, and renewal.

Page 157: …your cravings do talk to you. They are the physiological expressions of thirst and longing, communicating to you that a legitimate desire is not being met. What is the craving about? What is the longing beneath the urge? What is the legitimate desire? Before learning to interrogate their cravings, I hear men say, “I’m just really horny.” But after learning this method of soul attentiveness, men say, “I’m not horny; beneath feeling sexually aroused, what I really feel is lonely.” Surf Your Urges By now you probably understand that white-knuckling and gritting your teeth is not going to take you to the root of your lust issue.

I can relate to this. This WAS me.

Page 159: Here’s an example of what urge surfing might look like with porn or lust. Say you are home alone and haven’t looked at porn for two weeks. Suddenly, you start thinking about going online and surfing for porn. The first step is simply to observe. Sit comfortably in a chair and take a few deep breaths to help you get centered. Then take an inventory across your body. Where is the urge coming from in your body? Where do you feel it? Is it a feeling in your gut, shoulders, genitals? What is the sensation? Is it emptiness? Is it tingling? Anxiety? Now comes the part that requires a little courage. Speak out loud what you are experiencing: “I’m feeling a craving . . . it feels like butterflies in my stomach. It’s a light, hollow sensation.” Say whatever you are experiencing three or four times out loud. Now that you have observed what the craving is, the next step is to focus. Direct your focus on one specific area where you are experiencing the urge. Notice the exact sensations. Focus on the lightness, or hollowness, or tension. Observe how large of an area the sensation takes up. Is it the size of a baseball? Or is it the size of a pinprick? As you focus upon the sensation, describe it to yourself out loud. For example, “My heart rate seems faster. I can feel my face flush. I feel an energy in my temples.” As an outside observer of yourself, keep noticing the sensations and experiences and describe them out loud. The third step is to refocus. Return again to each part of your body where you experience the urge or craving. Are you able to observe any sensory changes? You may perceive after several minutes of urge surfing that the cravings have decreased or altogether disappeared. It’s important to say here that the point of urge surfing is not to eliminate cravings, but to experience them differently. Instead of running into the wave of craving, you are riding on top of it. Knowing that you can ride even the biggest wave is empowering. In the early stage of recovery, you can practice this until you are so familiar with the urges that they no longer trouble you.

Fine and good, but seems a bit tedious to me. Perhaps that’s me denying my inner feelings, but I would rather think that my former impure desires have all been replaced by pure ones.

Page 160: Of the hundreds of men I’ve counseled about their sexual addictions, not one has told me that after masturbating he felt stronger, more confident, and more vitally connected to the deep part of his soul. Debates over whether or not masturbation is a sin totally miss the point. The crucial question is not whether masturbation is right or wrong. The question is, as it is with any thought or behavior, does it hinder our spiritual, emotional, and social maturity? Does it stand in the way of love?

Page 166: One’s naked self is the self that is hidden and alone. Wicked, wounded, and weak, broken and impoverished. It holds no charm, credential, accomplishment, or status. Henri Nouwen called it the “irrelevant self.”1 It is the self that, apart from God’s loving pursuit, we try to conceal. In order to be ourselves, we each must come to terms with our naked selves.

…In our nakedness there is no pretense of earning or obtaining His love. It’s a gift that makes the gospel more real. Only in our nakedness can we experience the Father’s mercy, tenderness, and healing and realize that we are neither shamed nor despised.

He speaks in a spiritual sense here, but he’s right in more ways than he knows! There is something that happens when you embrace your physical nakedness as well. You can go from a hate relationship with yourself to a loving relationship for the body God has lovingly given you, in his own image.

Pages 167-168: As you embrace this freedom, you can begin to direct your will according to your truest desires. You can make healthy choices and exercise self-control. You decide whether or not you will stare at a woman’s breasts, masturbate to porn, have sex with your girlfriend, or flirt with the woman at your office. This is what the Bible means by self-control.

Nothing accomplished this in me as quickly and completely as embracing Christian naturism.

Page 168: God is concerned with so much more than giving you the energy to keep you from looking at porn. Obviously, He wants you free from any bondage—including porn and lust—that stands in the way of your relationship with Him. But in the big picture, He wants to free you from any encumbrances (related or unrelated to porn) that prevent you from living the life he intended.

Pages 173-174: God passionately desires to transform you from a twig of shame—think Charlie Brown’s Christmas tree—into an oak of righteousness that will display His splendor, His glory—like one of the mighty redwood trees in Yosemite.

Great section in this chapter on Isaiah 61, and oaks of righteousness, over the oaks of idolatry.

Page 178: A friend from AA drove him to the hospital where he began treatment. After a week of extensive mental health assessments, his psychiatrist, a straight-shooting Irishman, announced that he had reviewed the data and made a conclusive diagnosis. My father braced himself for the worst. “Your problem is that you are immature,” the doc pronounced. “You need to grow up, and learn to live without alcohol.” Dad walked back to his hospital room, where he sat for a long time to ponder the doctor’s words. “I decided he was right,” he told me later. “When I walked out of the room, I decided I would do whatever it took to learn to live without alcohol, to grow up.” And grow up he did. Almost forty years later, he still hasn’t had a drink. But even better, his journey of recovery has led him to become the man that one day I hope to be.

I love this story and the life altering decision to grow up. You cannot mature if you think you can never look at people and their bodies differently. The church typically warns against lust and tells you it’s a never ending battle. These two ideas cannot coexist. There are men in their 70s and 80s who never grew up in this area. This cannot be so with us.

Page 179: This is what the LORD says to the men of Judah and to Jerusalem: “Break up your unplowed ground and do not sow among thorns. Circumcise yourselves to the LORD,

circumcise your hearts, you men of Judah and people of Jerusalem. (Jer. 4:3–4)

God told His people to break up their unplowed ground, referring not to soil but to the ground of their hearts. The Israelites’ hearts had grown hard and unreceptive, like parched land that can’t absorb rainfall. The soil of their hearts had become barren and unable to grow anything. In order to yield a harvest, the fallow ground needed to be broken. Their hearts needed to be broken in order to absorb God’s love.

Pages 181-182: In the battle against lust and porn, most Christian approaches stress the importance of accountability. In my experience, however, what we need more than accountability is accessibility. During my sexual struggles, I was held accountable by friends and mentors who were among the most insightful and highly trained men around. But I didn’t have the ability or desire to let these men into my heart.

That level of vulnerability is rare among men. It’s automatically present when we take off our clothes and just are as we were created.

Page 183: It’s about the avoidance of shame. This form of accountability is a gospel of sin management that is all too common, and fraught with problems. The most obvious issue with this approach is that every addict is a master at deception. We lie. It’s what addicts do.

Pages 184-185: In the cardiologist approach we move from accountability to accessibility. We expose our hiddenness, but more than that, we acknowledge our brokenness. Instead of trying to manage our sin, or be inspired to obey, we recognize our need for transformation. We begin to allow God, and a few others, to walk into the messiness of our lives, and we learn that we are more than the sum of our brokenness. Cardiologist accountability does not require a professional therapist or counselor. It begins with the assumption that our whole lives, including our brokenness, are the soil in which God grows us. The only requirements for becoming a cardiologist of this kind are a healthy curiosity, a desire to be a caring friend, and a willingness to grow in your understanding of the process of spiritual transformation.

Pages 189-190: Recently, I heard a Christian expert in sexual addiction suggest that telling men to pray more in order to overcome porn was tantamount to spiritual abuse. On one level I totally agree. Any approach that does not take into account the whole person— emotional, relational, and physiological, as well as spiritual—is incomplete. To emphasize the spiritual at the expense of our total personhood is a reduced gospel.

Did you catch that? The most overused advice usually given by those in the church is practically spiritual abuse!

Page 194: “Since junior high I’ve fought a war against lust and porn. I finally got tired of putting so much energy into battling porn, so I gave up. Instead, I’ve been putting my energy into becoming a different kind of man. I’m changing the way I do life. I’m starting to see myself and God differently. I’m learning what intimacy is all about. I guess I’m becoming a man who just doesn’t need to look at porn anymore. What it once did for me, I no longer need, because the gaping hole in my heart is gone. I’m pursuing God for who He is and not what He can do for me. I’m focusing on being transformed and discovering that it’s actually starting to happen.”

Page 196: …on a behavioral level you have been surfing for porn, while on a heart level you have been surfing for God.

Hence the name of the book.

Again, this is a book I can recommend without too many caveats. There exists in it an admission of the limitations of many modern man-made strategies that fall short or have loopholes and don’t get to the root of the matters of the soul. The laser focus on our real enemy, and the matters of the heart that are in play was a welcome breath of fresh air.

A Review of “Clean”

This is a thorough and lengthy review of Douglas Weiss, Clean: A Proven Plan for Men Committed to Sexual Integrity. Thomas Nelson, 2013.

(See other book reviews here.)

This book contains a lot of truth, and that’s the good news. It paints an accurate picture of the dire consequences of compulsive porn use and sexual addiction. The bad news is that it operates under an assumption which is a lie. Naturally, the tragic result of mixing truth with a lie is a mesh of half truths. It bases its logic under the premise that there is only ever one response a man can have towards the sight of something deemed attractive, and it’s a sexual response. I also lived under that assumption for many years and reaped what that conditioning sowed in me. There are no true solutions to this problem as long as you believe this lie. Once you reject it, you can live a existence that few even know is possible.

What follows are excerpts from the book (in bold) and my notes which I wrote as I read the book are in italics.

“…this type of internal transformation requires work. More work than most people are used to.” Page 1

The Lord has done the work. We just need to accept his work as finished and powerful enough to help us aside from our own effort.

“I also see a lot of church leaders struggling to help those trapped in the cycle of sexual sinning, whether it’s porn or adultery or something else. But many church leaders fall to sexual temptation themselves, and the ones who do stay pure are often at a loss as to how to help those struggling.” Page 1

True. Was certainly the case with me. WAS.

“…if a community of believers is willing to go the extra mile for one another, get real, and extend grace, they will soon see the blessing of the Lord return to their sanctuary.” Page 1

These are all great things and should take place. However the lies about the body need to be addressed for lasting change without an on-going struggle.

“The book of Joel says, ‘I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten’ (2: 25). That can be true of your life, if you are willing to own your past and believe in the possibility of a new future.” Page 1

This is one of the verses that was a key insight for us, and that’s why it’s on our homepage.

You will find the Lord giving you insights in how to communicate ideas that help men get and stay clean.” Page 1

It’s not so much about getting and staying clean in my estimation, as much as it is being clean in who you are (in Christ) and not a matter of trying to be something you aren’t.

“No matter who you are, it all comes down to doing the work. Tom Landry, a famous professional football coach for the Dallas Cowboys, knew this truism. During his tenure, his teams made it to multiple playoff and championship games. While he made everything look easy on the outside, always maintaining a calm demeanor, he had a saying about leading his players: ‘Leadership is getting someone to do what they don’t want to do, to achieve what they want to achieve.’ He knew his players had to show up at practice and do the work if they wanted to win. The same is true with getting clean.” Page 1

Being clean is about wanting to be clean, not doing something you don’t want to do. You live clean because you want to. It’s all in the mindset, and the mindset here is all wrong, in my opinion.

“The enemy of our souls began a sexual campaign—or as we would later call it, a sexual revolution. This campaign would question the very core biblical view of sexuality.” Page 2

He did this immediately after Adam and Eve sinned, if you don’t gloss over it! (See Genesis 3:11) The enemy hates the image of God and he told them they were naked and most likely planted in them the idea to cover up. Most people ignore God’s first question to them: “Who said you were naked?” That’s the sexual revolution that has caused brokenness throughout all generations.

“I have been sexually clean for more than twenty-five years. I have not masturbated, viewed pornography, or had any sexual behavior outside of my marriage. My clean lifestyle has been validated repeatedly by a polygraph, so I am telling you the truth man to man, soldier to soldier.” Page 4

“I have written several books related to sexual addiction. I am considered an expert in the field of recovery, having appeared on Oprah, Dr. Phil, and many other national television shows, and I’ve even had a Lifetime Network movie made about our treatment for sex addicts called Sex, Lies and Obsession. I am also the president of the American Association for Sex Addiction Therapy (AASAT). We train and certify counselors and life coaches to help those who struggle with sexual addiction both nationally and internationally.” Page 4

I may not have all the credentials and the numbers of people impacted that he has, and that’s ok. We both want the same thing and I wish him well in his ministry. I’m saddened he needs to repeatedly use a polygraph. And also the combative language of soldiering on in this battle really grieves my spirit. It’ll be a battle if we think it will be! I’d rather skip the battle, myself.

“Pornography Time Statistics • Every second, $ 3,075.64 is being spent on pornography. • Every second, 28,258 Internet users are viewing pornography. • Every second, 372 Internet users are typing adult search terms into search engines. • Every 39 minutes, a new pornographic video is being created in the United States.” Page 6

“If 90 percent of the men at a Christian conference see this as a big issue in their relationship with God, we all need to take this war seriously.” Page 10

“Half of the pastors or their wives at churches where I have been a member have fallen to sexual sin during my thirty years as a Christian.” Page 11

We don’t really need all these stats to know about the problem. I’ve been at these men’s conferences and I’ve stopped going to them because they just tell guys they will have a problem. If you believe it will be an issue, it will be an issue. They need to know it doesn’t have to be a problem in their lives.

“We have all seen great men of God excelling in the Lord and moving toward global impact, only to succumb to sexual sin. Suddenly, all they can do is watch as their ministries, families, and reputations crumble in shame. Had these men prepared themselves to fight against sexual sin—been transparent with others, sought counsel, remained accountable—we would still benefit from their ministries today. As I like to say about the devil, if he can seduce you, he can reduce you.” Page 22

We make the devil’s work easy by agreeing with him that the nude body (image of God) is lewd and obscene. If we instead believe the truth, we won’t need any accountability and won’t even struggle!

“I could give you hundreds of examples of men caught up in pornography, adultery, and other improper sexual behaviors who decided to repent, become accountable, and build a support team. As a result, they began to help others and change the world.” Page 25

I could give hundreds of examples that easily eliminated lust without the need for accountability or support groups.

“Knowing the reason for staying clean will have a similar effect on you. It will give you strength in the fight for sexual purity. It is easy to swim with the current in our present culture, but it takes real strength and courage to swim against it.” Page 28

You wanna talk about swimming against a current? Try going against the current of purity culture, which in essence agrees with our present culture’s views in how they see the body and flesh. Once you appreciate our God as Creator and see the human body and soul as the pinnacle of creation, you will want to BE clean and give other image bearers love, respect and dignity. You will hate anything that objectifies another human being demeaning them as an object.

“If you think you can control lust, you are deceived. The opposite is true, and unless you can see this, it will only increase its hold on you.” Page 33

I believed this until I didn’t. I’m so glad I no longer believe it, because that was a miserable thing to believe!

“Satan’s deep “secret” is quite simple: be immoral. He has used this same trick throughout the centuries, but it’s not a secret anymore. Anytime you’re being tempted into immorality or viewing pornography, you are falling for the enemy’s teaching hook, line, and sinker.” Page 39

I think he had another secret that isn’t as well known! Again, see Genesis 3:11 and ask yourself honestly why you think God asked this question.

“Joe gradually began to lust after and flirt with the twenty-year-old blond women in his workplace. He also started to rationalize that he could masturbate again. He reactivated his landmines over a couple of years.” Page 44

I think a better way is to not have any landmines that could run the risk of reactivation. When I was in my issues, I had a type. Actually my type was those who reminded me of my wife. But as my mind and thinking has changed completely, she and she alone is my type and there are no landmines in sight or underground. Praise God Almighty!

I say he wouldn’t need a weapon if he wasn’t engaged in a battle he didn’t need to be in. It’s not and doesn’t have to be every man’s battle! What if this battle everyone seems to think we need to fight tooth and nail is actually a diversion from the real war being waged by our enemy. As we are busy fighting this battle over here for momentary purity, the enemy has surrounded us from all sides to where we can’t escape and experience true and lasting purity of heart and soul.

“Why did all this hell break out in Joe’s life? He dropped his weapon!” Page 47

“God gives you various weapons to protect yourself and those you love. These weapons include the fear of the Lord, wisdom, the Word of God, accountability, honesty with your spiritual authorities and spouse, porn blockers, and accountability software. So many weapons are at your disposal.” Page 47

These so-called weapons are weak. They are man-made attempts at managing and coping with sin. They aren’t an answer to the “heart” of the problem. I was waiting to see what his tried and true method was, but it’s sadly the same old same old.

“Women are three-dimensional creatures with spirits, souls, and bodies, with relationships, responsibilities, and dreams for their lives. When we lust, we remove all these other aspects of their beings and just look at their packaging, or their bodies. We objectify or make them things, instead of souls or people. In lust, we devalue the amazing soul that a woman is and make her into a lust hit—entertainment that we scan into our brains.” Page 49

Yes, agreed! But seeing is not lusting, and lust doesn’t have to be the automatic response to seeing. Your aforementioned passage of James 1:15 says, lust when it conceives… What about when lust doesn’t come into play? This is my experience now after two decades of trying and failing the other ways.

“…we are not to lust after any woman on planet Earth. Paul said to treat “older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity” (1 Timothy 5: 2). Why sisters? Because that puts a relationship context around each person. Most of us would not lust after our own physical sister regardless of her level of attractiveness, because, of course, she is our sister. In the absence of the option to lust, we see her as a whole person with feelings, a history, relationships and value, not as an object.” Page 50

Ok, this part is getting good. This is what I’m saying.

“Lust, if it is not destroyed at this level, can and will grow. And if it is watered repeatedly with more lust, fantasy, and pornography, lust will continue to grow and become stronger. If you masturbate to lust-inducing pictures, it’s like feeding super-fertilizer to the seed, or genetically engineering it.” Page 50

Very true. So let’s not let it get to that point at all, by seeing everyone as a beautiful creation of God, seeing them as God sees them, not as the world does.

“A man may lust for years, never thinking he will sin. I have heard that hundreds of times from men, Christian men, who thought they would never cross the line. They didn’t understand that feeding lust guarantees the seed will grow into its next stage. Whether a man is saved or not, that’s the principle of the seed.” Page 51

Lust is sin, full stop. That first stage is too much. You’ve lost if you objectify and desire someone solely for personal gratification. (Even if it’s your own spouse!)

“If a man doesn’t perceive the battle he is in, he is more likely to fail, causing pain to himself and those he loves.” Page 53

I’ll say it once again. If a man believes he will be in a perpetual state of battle, he will be in a perpetual state of battle. If a man “commits to be clean” he can avoid the battlefield entirely. He does so by the renewing of his mind, just like with any other sin. It’s no different.

If you haven’t purposed to be clean when temptation comes—and I said when, not if—you can be truly caught off guard, and with little strength, or support, you may fail unnecessarily. Page 54

Today, I’m tempted with arrogance, and I’m working on it. Being tempted to lust is not a thing anymore. My wife knows this. I could never lie to her very well during 20 years of constant temptation. Now that I’ve overcome this issue by God’s grace, I can easily become arrogant in my portrayal of a much better way. This is often passion carried to the extreme. I’ve lived with both bondage and freedom, so I get passionate when I see what does not work being promoted as though it does. Temptation to lust will not come if you have worked through this with a renewed mind, in the same way I’m not tempted to murder my brother. I have no interest in either of these sins. I also need to renew my mind around food and gluttony, but lust is finished.

“He [meaning someone who doesn’t fight this seriously] doesn’t mind occasional, partial, or full nudity on television or in magazines. He accidentally or intentionally can be hit by sexual material and not think twice about it.” Page 55

Maybe the only boundary should be to not objectify anyone. Then the sight of even nudity will not cause this person to struggle. One trip to a family friendly naturist park will shatter all preconceived notions about the body and the potential for lust!

“A lack of accountability is always a sign of a man whose weapons are down. Page 57

A need for accountability is a sign of continual bondage. If someone has true freedom, there is NO need for accountability.

“He is alone in the web of pornography called the Internet. A man in this defenseless position is easily accessible to the enemy of his soul and his family, and extremely vulnerable to sexual temptation and acting out. It’s almost like telling the devil to take his best shot.” Page 57

This agreement that lust is the only response to the sight of flesh is causing all the strife. You could have all the access to all the porn (and you do), but it will not be a temptation if you don’t like or enjoy anything that objectifies another human being. Make that agreement instead!

“The Bible says, ‘For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he’ (Proverbs 23: 7 KJV).” Page 58

Using this very verse to counter the fact that you will constantly be tempted would make this book very short. Change your mind. Think differently. This is true repentance and when God renews your mind, that is all that is needed. The truth will make you free (John 8:32)!

“Your clean commitment clears your vision, and you will begin to see threats clearly as well. Prepare for them, and enjoy victory and a clean conscience after winning those battles.” Page 59

I agree a clean commitment is key, but also a redefining of what is clean and what is a threat. When you see the body as the crowning glory of creation, all so-called threats disappear.

“Men who protect have a plan.” Page 59

The plans mentioned in this chapter (as anticipated) are cumbersome and never ending. The only plan needed is to honor the image of God. That’s it.

“He still lives in an environment of temptation, as we all do. But if he opens an e-mail and sees something inappropriate, he tells somebody immediately. He cooperates with his wife in telling her the things she wants to know, and he has a trusted man or men to confess any inappropriate thoughts to as well.” Page 60

There are opportunities to lust literally everywhere. But if someone would rather die than objectify another image bearer, they will not have inappropriate thoughts, even on a nude beach, for example. That’s a worse case scenario for someone struggling with lustful thoughts. If you can be at such a place and be just fine thought-wise, you’ve got it made anywhere else! You might call that dangerous, but remember, you have declared literally everywhere as dangerous. Nowhere is dangerous for a person with true freedom.

“Let me give you an example. I was exhausted after three days in Canada speaking at a men’s and marriage conference and doing professional training for Christian counselors on sexual addiction. I got on my plane and took out my tablet to write a chapter of a book. The woman sitting next to me reached into her bag and began to pull out a magazine. All I could see was the red letter P. I instantly knew it was going to be a Playboy magazine. I looked the other way and sat facing the bathroom. I was angry. I prayed in my spirit, “Lord, if she’ll put it away, I’ll witness to her.” I didn’t have an “accident” and look; I stayed focused. She put her magazine back in her bag, went to the bathroom, and when she came out she pulled an everyday magazine out of her bag. I tried to share, but she seemed more comfortable with silence. When I got off the plane, I immediately called my accountability partner and my wife. I hadn’t seen anything inappropriate; I just didn’t want to be slimed by her issues.” Page 61

This is really weird to me now, I have to be honest. I don’t like Playboy or porn at all because it objectifies. I hate it. It’s slime in the fact that it uses people and entices others. But if I were to see a cover girl on a magazine from the seat next to me on a plane, it wouldn’t be a major event. I wouldn’t have to call anyone. It wouldn’t cause me to have any thoughts except for compassion towards the person in the photo. There is a big difference between pornography and naturist photos. This could be the subject of a whole article. They may both be nude, but one is sexual and the other non-sexual and wholesome. Many cannot see this because they are so conditioned to think only a certain way. This is the great tragedy that keeps so many from enjoying a life of freedom and victory over lust.

“Most guys struggle because of classical conditioning. That includes positive conditioning for a behavior. To change a behavior you might want to change your conditioning from positive rewards for lust to setting up a negative reward for this behavior. If you look at something or do something inappropriate, have a consequence set up and enforce it. A consequence is something that hurts you (negative reinforcement). Let me give you a list of suggestions. 

• No media for one, two, or three weeks 
• No cell phone for one, two, or three days 
• Walk to work 
• Pick up trash for two to four hours 
• Give money to a political or nonprofit organization you really disagree with 
• Eat a raw onion 
• Run two miles (if you’re not in shape) 
• Eat Ben and Jerry’s at 10: 00 p.m. (if you are in shape) 
• Leg lunges for half a mile or one mile The consequence has to be painful to you.”
Page 62

This is crazy! And my wife says infantile. Are we men or kids? I get it, though, grown men act immature. I did. But, if you hate what is actually inappropriate, you won’t need to do these silly negative reinforcements. A person, even fully naked, isn’t always inappropriate. This mind shift changes everything, and anything truly inappropriate loses its power and appeal. It’s not a desensitization to evil; it’s  a renewed mind to what is actually evil and what is not!

“Men who have lost this battle for decades change into men who become winners and protectors of those they love, due to the humility of consequences.” Page 63

Really? Self imposed consequences for messing up? Sound masochistic to me. How about fix the issue and not “mess up” anymore and live the life God wants for us. Stop living a life that is constantly worrying and striving.

“Men are the solution God has chosen.” Page 64

What? Jesus is the only solution I will put my trust in and He is more than enough. I don’t think that’s me being super spiritual or holier than thou. I just think the Lord is much more powerful, and men limit his power through disbelief! Is our view of Christ’s finished work on the cross so low that we need man-made strategies to help him accomplish his task of redemption? So sad!

“As you can see, there are major differences in a woman’s self-esteem after being in a relationship with a man with a secret sexual life.” Page 70

These and other stats mentioned here come from a pretty small survey, especially in light of Sheila Gregoire and company’s survey of 20,000 women (in “The Great Sex Rescue: The Lies You’ve Been Taught and How to Recover What God Intended”). The low self esteem numbers before a relationship with a cheating man are too low to begin with. It obviously will go down. But women need a better self concept generally speaking. And imago Dei concepts played out through naturism solve that as well as they do the man or women’s propensity to view and use pornography or have other sexual brokenness.

“An unclean or secret sexual life does have a significant impact on the ones you love.” Page 80

We all know this and don’t need all the stats to prove it. However, we need an actual life changing message, and I’m not getting that out of this book. Sorry!

“…a real man stops his inappropriate behaviors, stops sacrificing his family for his secrets, and on a daily basis fights for himself to stay clean so he can enjoy the privilege of being a husband and a father.” Page 81

I agree a real man will stop these destructive behaviors, but to do that, he needn’t fight at all! He must surrender. The Lord will fight for you. You need only be still (Exodus 14:14).

“Your brain is the pleasure center for your body, especially when you have a sexual release. When you release sexually, your brain receives the chemical mother lode of endogenous opiates. These opiates are the single highest chemical reward for anything you can ever do. You can run and work out, but sex is by far the biggest chemical high we get in life.” Page 85

“Let’s suppose you use your brain this way from age fifteen until age twenty-five. You would have a mega attraction to the unreal, self-created, self-worshiping world of lust. You would have created many attractions, misconceptions, and false realities that simply may not exist in the real world, and then encouraged these false beliefs with the highest chemical reward. These become your landmines in the future. If you masturbated to exclusively blonds and marry a brunette, you could be unsatisfied because of the blond landmine you set up in your brain. If you preferred a particular sex act in your pornography or fantasy world, this could also be a landmine. You have set yourself up for failure because your wife is not a sexual actress and may not enjoy or even desire that particular sex act.” Page 86

This section is a good one. The brain science is fascinating, and that’s why the mind is so important in diffusing those landmines. The renewing of the mind, that is.

He worked diligently on his recovery and visited my office to take his annual polygraph. Page 88

Sad that an annual polygraph is required! I asked a naturist friend if he’s had any issue in the 16 years since he’s embraced naturism. He said no, and I believe him, because in 3 years I haven’t had any issues and feel so different, even one month into naturism. It’s night and day. No polygraphs required!

“I never recommend that married men masturbate to their wives because it can cause problems. When I travel, I make sure I come home regularly so I never sin against my body in this manner.” Page 90

I have the same conviction in saying that I will not masturbate period, not even to my wife– not because I’m afraid of any triggers, but rather because I want to honor her and have our love making be mutually satisfying. This would have been difficult in the past with long trips, etc. But now, it’s no problem and I could go long periods of time without sex. That’s what nocturnal emissions were made for. Of course, I’d rather make love to my wife, but I’m not in desperate need to cut my trip short just for a release.

“I can hear some of you thinking, Doc, I’m already messed up, so now what do I do? Trust me, I know what it’s like to carry around a defective brain that has been rewarded for lust. I also have had a clean brain for more than twenty years and have helped many men clean up their brains too. Now we’ll talk about how this happens. Spank the Dog Here is a principle I have been sharing with men for more than two decades. I mentioned this technique in my book The Final Freedom: Pioneering Sexual Addiction Recovery. I call it, ‘Spank the Dog.’ This will be familiar to anyone who has had a puppy.” Page 90

“Get a rubber band and place it around your wrist for at least thirty days. Every time you lust, objectify, double take, rubber neck, or have a past image hit your brain, snap the rubber band. You will be amazed at how much of the time your brain is actually going the wrong way. Remember the dog: we are ‘spanking’ your brain when it is going down the wrong direction. Men have told me over the years that this negative reinforcement has shut down as much as 80 percent of their lust life and reduced the power of their landmines within a month. Some men have found it helpful to quote a Scripture after they snap the rubber band. This is like showing the dog where to urinate. Choose a Scripture, and after you snap the band, either say it out loud or in your head.” Page 92

I hate this so much! I’m deeply saddened that this is needed.

“You deserve a clean brain, but it doesn’t come easy. You trained your flesh to lust after a certain image or emotional trigger. Unfortunately, your flesh doesn’t change overnight. Be persistent, and over time you can begin to look at any woman as a person and not as an object. The longer you stay free from porn and masturbation, the easier it gets to see women as people.” Page 94

This is good, but again, a half truth. It is easy and can come overnight.

“You may be walking in the mall when you see a poster. You can see the skin, but can’t quite figure out if it’s another Victoria Secret image. But your braindar has picked it up and you are not only aware, you also are getting a feeling in your chest—or somewhere else. This sense or feeling is your braindar. It’s telling you there is a UFO in your environment. UFO is short for Unidentified Female Object. I know that women are amazing souls in incredible packaging and are not to be treated as objects. Guys know exactly what I mean when I say it’s way too early to see the soul of that person when your braindar goes off. It will tell you only two things: its gender and its location. If the braindar could talk, it would tell you something like this: “Female, questionable attire, at three o’clock.” Believe it or not, this braindar can be a gift to you in obtaining a clean life. In the past you used your braindar to locate a victim to lust after or worse. Now you can use your braindar as a warning device.” Page 94

“You still receive the information of gender and location, but now it’s all about what you do with that information. Instead of using the information to move toward the UFO, you use it to move away from the object. If the braindar says, “Object at three o’clock,” then you look in any other direction so as to not include that UFO in your range of vision. If you’re at a restaurant or in another public place, sit away from the flow of the UFOs, or sit in such a way that you are no longer able to engage in a straight line with what your braindar has warned you about. If you are at an airport and you see a UFO sitting in a seat nearby, pick a seat where you are not able to look directly at her. I think you get the idea. Braindar can help you choose to move away from someone or something in your environment that can be stimulating you for whatever reason. You can’t control that you have braindar, but you can control how you use it. You can’t control the environment, but you can control how you navigate your environment.” Page 95

I read this part out loud to my wife and she was appalled. It’s so messed up, in our opinion. He states that women are not an object and then calls them an object, and treats them like an object! Also, to shift your seat so as to not look at a woman you deem as attractive is not victory over lust. It’s a sign you are still in bondage! It reminds me of the Duggars and their “Nike” code word. But look how that worked out for Josh Duggar!

“You will never destroy an enemy you embrace. As you clean your brain, it is helpful to hate lust in all its forms. Lust destroys everything and everyone around you. It can take your family and leave you appearing foolish. Hating this enemy can be an effective part of the process of achieving a truly clean brain and a truly clean life.” Page 97

This quote showed up as a popularly highlighted quote on kindle as I read. I can see why. This is key. We should hate the sin of lust and all that degrades God’s original intent for our sexual wholeness. However, I’ve noticed that in our attempt to hate this sin, we go to the other extreme and throw out the baby with the bath water so to speak. We see women as dangerous to provoke our lust. We see their bodies as something to hate, and we end up hating ourselves for our lack of control. Instead of having this enemy, the best way to beat an enemy is to make them your friend. This may sound a little dangerous, but stay with me. The human body was created to image God, and He saw it as very good. Not just body, but soul as well, but not just soul! They are intertwined, and the body itself is not bad, in and of itself. It’s a form of modern Gnosticism to think that it is. To see that “enemy” as friend (just another body belonging to a precious child of God, worthy of respect) is to eliminate the danger in that threat. You won’t lust when you live this way. The real enemy is the one who started this lie that our bodies are shameful (Genesis 3:11).

“…it’s not the eyes that are the main problem. The main problem is what men are doing in their minds. A man might be looking at and maybe talking to a woman. Some guys have the dexterity to have a conversation and simultaneously have lustful thoughts, or even fantasies, about the person who is innocently talking with them.”

“I have come up with a technique that has helped men stop these thoughts from ever getting started. This can even be helpful in a situation where a man has to not only resist looking while talking to a woman who is inappropriately dressed but also doesn’t want to have to deal with the sexual slime that can linger after such an encounter. I call this a “brain covenant.” This is like a prayer you say at the beginning of every day.” Page 98

The intent and the words here are fine. The underlying assumption isn’t. Neither is the goal a good one. It’s too short sighted due to the perceived desperation of the situation. The move from the eyes to the brain and the mind is good. But then his mind is still not clean. It’s been rinsed, but not deep cleaned. He mentions a struggle to look at women who are dressed inappropriately (in our boob obsessed culture, that probably means a low cut top showing cleavage). He calls this sexual slime to be dealt with later on (after he leaves and mulls this encounter over in his unrenewed mind). This is so sick, but I get it, because this was me! He is trying to resist the temptation to undress her in his mind. If he was used to seeing regular bodies unclad in non-sexual situations, this would not even be an issue! Does he have a problem when he sees a nose or an elbow? No! That’s because they are uncovered and therefore not sexualized. Before I changed my mind about the body, I had this endless struggle, requiring ever-present hyper vigilance. When I decided, once and for all, that all bodies are beautiful and all people made in God’s image have inherent dignity, everything changed. My arousal is reserved for the rightful place of relationship with my wife. What used to turn me on and be “a dangerous battle” does not any longer come into play. I have more than a mere attraction for my wife. We have a commitment, and a history, and a fidelity that is stronger than anything lust could offer. I can be literally surrounded by naked women, and not have any unwanted or sinful thoughts creep up like they used to. You might say this normalization of nudity is a seared conscience, but that’s your own unclean mind projected onto what seems unfathomable to you. I invite you to do just one hard step, and that is to consider a better way.

“If you pray early in the day, out loud and with conviction, a prayer that states a commitment to love women, protect them, and hate all lust toward them, it can be a powerful anchor of your commitment for your brain to follow and be aware of all day long.” Page 99

I like the idea, but why decide to do that one day at a time when you can renew your mind for every day to come? I don’t want to clean my mind for a day, but rather for a lifetime. This is who you are. You are made new, renewed. The old man is gone.

“She is way more than her body parts or face, which is the box that many men try to put her into.” Page 104

My point exactly. Now, let’s see if you actually apply this fully…

“Habakkuk 2: 15 and 16: Woe to him who gives drink to his neighbors, pouring it from the wineskin till they are drunk, so that he can gaze on their naked bodies! You will be filled with shame instead of glory. Now it is your turn! Drink and be exposed! The cup from the LORD’s right hand is coming around to you, and disgrace will cover your glory. This is a powerful Scripture, but I have never heard it preached on. What the prophet was commenting on is commonplace today.” 

“The correct response to nakedness is to not pursue it and also to cover it up.” Page 107

How’s that working for us?

“…we can see that the body is innately holy. We also can see we have a responsibility to cover nakedness. Our hearts have drunk in the devil’s perversion, and we can have one of two responses. We can protect holiness by covering nudity, or we can consume this holy nakedness in some sexual manner.” Page 107

Hmm. I see the devil as the one who originally wanted to cover up God’s image.

“Exposure to holiness brings out who we are. When you see the holiness of a naked woman, what’s your reaction? Is it to protect and cover up her nakedness, as our God would want you to do, and you would feel better doing, since part of your calling is to be a protector? Or do you lust and desire to sexually consume the holiness of a naked woman?” Page 111

Are those the only options? Such a mix of truth and untruth! Is that what God really wants? Was that his intent in the beginning? I’ve concluded that our behavior as men can be boiled down to one of two responses. Your behavior or thoughts will either be like that of a predator or a protector. Jesus was a protector of women (including the naked woman caught in adultery in John 8).

“[In the story of Noah] Ham, first on the scene, didn’t make the right choice. He beheld his father’s nakedness. Other than tell his brothers, we don’t know what Ham did.” Page 112

But it was a lot more than simply beholding… See this post.

“They chose to protect their father, not to entertain themselves. They instinctively did what Isaiah talked about—they covered his nakedness.” Page 112

Um, God told Isaiah to go stark naked for 3 years! (Isaiah 20:1-3)

“God loves to bless men who at any cost protect his holy daughters. If you have a daughter, how would you feel if you were sitting in a public place where someone was lusting after her?” Page 116

This is true, however the application is not. I’d heard the “that’s someone’s daughter” approach many times and it didn’t help me, even after I had a daughter of my own. What’s needed is to see the personhood of another. If you went to a naturist park (this is the most extreme example given on purpose) and started covering the ladies out of an obligation to protect them, you’d cause a riot. They don’t need protection in the way of covering. They need respect and dignity in spite of what they are wearing or not. The only thing such an act would expose is one’s own perverted thoughts. When missionaries went to naked tribes and clothed them, was that protection? They were just fine, but after being clothed, they started having the same problems Americans have.

“I am 100 percent committed to calling my pastor before I would consider doing anything sexually inappropriate, including looking at pornography. His cell number is in my phone, and I informed him that when he became my pastor, my sexuality was placed under his authority. I told him I would call before, not after, any sexually inappropriate behavior. Some men might feel embarrassed to actually do this. I, however, would be more embarrassed if I didn’t have this friendship as a safety net.” Page 126

This is a section I feel the author is quite proud of entitled “Three Owners” where he says your penis has three different owners. This is just sad that someone needs to have this safety net. Stats shared earlier in the book show that 50% of the pastors also would need the same! We shouldn’t have to be this immature. We need to grow up.

“Being under authority has given me more than two and a half decades of freedom, because I don’t have to make the decision. An attorney reportedly said that he who defends himself has a fool for a client. I would say sexually it is showing wisdom to be under authority. You are blessed to be under authority.” Page 127

Are you truly free if you have need of this? God’s authority is good enough for me. I’d rather die than objectify another human being, and I don’t need anyone else to help me with that. Foolish? I’m grateful it’s been so easy since I changed my thoughts on the matter.

“You’re having urges to view inappropriate images or pornography, or maybe you want to masturbate or flirt with a female coworker. If you are under authority, after you call Pastor John, you call your wife. Imagine that conversation. ‘Hon, this is your husband. I’m at work, got some downtime and I thought I would look and lust after other women, you know Victoria’s Secret, then try some hardcore pornography and maybe even masturbate. Since you are the owner of my sex organ, I have to ask your permission since I am under your sexual authority.’ For single guys, use the second phone call for an accountability person.” Page 129

I have no words. I know this is hypothetical to make a point, but why is this hypothetical even necessary?

“Once you start down a path of sexual independence and rebellion against your sexual authorities, there is no telling where that path will lead. As a janitor, however, you only get bathroom rights. That is the only authority I have sexually in my life, otherwise I have to use my cell phone to ask permission.” Page 132

This is just disturbing and such a low view of the image of God and of men in general. My sexual integrity and fidelity is now a given. I agree that we are God’s and my body is not my own and it’s my wife’s as she is also mine. Do people actually make these phone calls? When I was stuck in the old way of thinking, I’d lie to my wife and she’d know it. I hated hurting her like that. Now she trusts me completely because those old issues and obsessions are gone. No gimmicks required.

“Let me put this principle into four simple words. Put them on your cell phone, screen saver, a Post-it note, any place where you can be reminded of them: God, wife, me, pee.” Page 133

“Yes, you can summarize sexual authority in those four words. God is the first owner. Your wife is the second owner. And you are the third owner, which gives peeing rights only. This revelation can help you get and stay clean. When you accept your place in this hierarchy, you will be free indeed.” Page 133

Ridiculous!

“Love is the opposite of lust. Lust and love cannot exist at the same place at the same time. Lust and love are as polar opposite as light and darkness. You have to leave light to enter darkness. You have to leave darkness to enter light. In the same way, we have to leave love to lust and leave lust to love.” Page 139

Yes, yes, yes! I agree with this part.

“Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity” (1 Timothy 5: 1–2). Paul gives us some insight into leaving lust and entering love. Paul was telling Timothy that when it comes to women, and men for that matter, to always put them in a relationship context.” Page 140

Also very good stuff.

“You start to notice there is a guy in the restaurant who keeps staring at your wife. You look over, and sure enough he is still looking at her. He’s not looking at her as you would a person in the crowd; he is actually lusting after her, checking out her body, hoping you go to the restroom so he can slip her a card. He’s not seeing your wife as a person or a mom, just a thing he is entitled to lust after. How are you feeling toward this guy? Well, I don’t imagine very positive. You might think he is a creep who has problems, but at the very least you’re uncomfortable, and at worst protective or angry.” Page 142

He is a creep and so are we if we stoop to the same level. The relational context is key, but you have to stop thinking temptation is everywhere and women are dangerous and will get you going by just being attractive.

“The other part of this tradition, ‘don’t tell,’ is held up by the rank and file of men in the church. If you’re lusting, viewing porn, masturbating, flirting, cheating, or anything inappropriate, don’t tell. Don’t tell yourself, your wife, and your spiritual leaders. Keep your sexual behaviors a secret.” Page 145

This is a problem and does need to change. And there are some good points made in the book around this section. Being open is liberating, but the thinking must change for lasting change. I know I sound like a broken record, and probably am starting to come across as arrogant, but I’m just desperately pleading for us to do better, but not by striving, but rather by surrender.

“I am astonished by how many Christians honestly have more faith in their sin, than in Jesus’ blood to forgive the sin. I see people repeatedly trapped in thinking and believing that their sin is somehow so special it nullifies the power of his blood. If you are trapped into believing your sin is that special, let me tell you, it’s not! Your sin is not special or powerful. His blood paid the full price for any and all sins whether they are sexual sins or not.” Page 155

I like this because I believe Jesus’ finished work on the cross is powerful enough to heal sexual brokeness aside from our own efforts.

“If you are confessing to a brother, then you want a clean life. It is the only way to stay clean that truly works.” Page 166

It’s important for sure, and this book has good stuff in this section, but it’s not the only thing that truly works, and it didn’t for me.

“Imagining the worst is helpful, especially for the guys who dabble with fantasy, pornography, and masturbation who think they will never cross the line. Just suppose you did fornicate or commit adultery.” Pages 180-181

No, you DID commit adultery by lusting. There is no line. You crossed the line in your heart even though there was nothing physical between two people. We can’t justify lust by saying we didn’t cross the line. See Jesus in Matthew 5:27-30.

“Knowing the impact of you falling helps you desire to protect those close to you from that pain and stay away from the road to trouble.” Page 181

Negative reinforcement can keep you out of trouble for trouble’s sake. But wanting to be trouble free out of love and gratitude is an even better motivator. You won’t want to do the things that cause trouble, instead of just not wanting to be caught.

“I find it helpful to make a daily commitment to stay on the right road and avoid the road to trouble. I accept that I am at war, not just with the devil and this very sexual culture, but also with myself. James 1:14 says that we are drawn away by our own lust. That means that left to myself, I could lust, I could think higher of myself than I should, or feel entitled to a better wife, life, or something else. I am like you—in a battle of my own flesh.” Page 186

I want that commitment to be who I am, not have to try to convince myself every day.

“I declare that I commit to love and protect all women today, that I hate all lust of all women in my heart or my mind, and that all women are made by God, for God, and going back to God.” Page 186

These are great. Just make them who you are in your core and you won’t have to work hard to believe them or stray from them.

“Intimacy anorexia is the active withholding of emotional, spiritual, and sexual intimacy from the spouse.” Page 199

Pretty good section here in the book!

“I have a passion for taking this land for Jesus, with sexually clean men in every church, from every denomination, in every town and city in our nation and beyond our borders.” Page 209

I have the same passion, but go about it a different way. I’ve tried his way, and had temporary success, and I’ve lived my way and felt entirely different as a result. 

“Ask yourself, If my son duplicates how I raised him regarding sexual purity, would I have strong or weak men down my sexual family tree?” Page 210

When I believed it was a battle for every man, I struggled and was powerless to help my own sons. Now, I feel like I’ve given them a leg up that few people have.

Conclusion: This was a book that was recommended to me before I had made my change of mind. I purchased it but did not read it at the time. Had I done so, I believe it would not have changed things for me as it’s solutions are the same things always prescribed in popular Christian books. Having read it after my change, I can see clearly what is truly clean (the mind and heart) versus what is clean only on the outside (performance, will power, accountability, and sin management). I don’t want to be guilty of what Jesus describes in Matthew 23:25-26 ESV: “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence.  Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.

Chain Breakers

My personal friend R. B. Mears just released his book “Chain Breakers – A Novel about the Naked Truth” on Amazon Kindle. I was excited to read it, and it proved to be quite an entertaining ride. The story follows the protagonist, Matt, as he discovers a powerful truth most in the world and (especially in Christian circles) are completely unaware exists.

You can read the author’s description of the book below. It shows most of the plot, so nothing I have to say will be a spoiler. What I appreciated from this book was the innocence and childlike wonder that it portrays. Older characters are reawakened to simpler times when there was more freedom and less shame. Religious minds are educated about the way prudish thinking can trace its origins way back at the beginning in Genesis 3. Genesis 1 and 2 is a much better place to be and the situations in this story are very eden-like. Naturists know that even after the fall, this existence isn’t out of reach or beyond belief. This book isn’t shy about speaking of the way Satan has blinded so many as ruler of the world. (That’s a chapter in my upcoming book as well, so I was happy to see this largely ignored concept portrayed repeatedly.)

It’s fun, insightful, and inspiring. It motivates me to be even more bold in my outspokenness as to the effectiveness of Naturism to fix many problems that abound in society faster than anything. The proliferation of pornography and the abundance of body shame and low self-esteem are easily done away with through the tenants and beliefs of naturism. Young kids take center stage in this story teaching grownups what God can do through his power if we would but humble ourselves and believe.

The one phrase that came to my mind as I read the book was “unbelievably believable.” There are many scenarios and encounters that result in immediate transformation. Even the author writes the “unbelievableness” factor into dialogue in a couple of instances. It seems too good to be true and far-fetched. However, as a Christian naturist myself, I found the stories of instant night and day changes believable. That’s really what happened with me, so it was a joy to relive that through these many characters over and over.

Get the book here!

Mear’s tale of toughness, boldness, courage, and sensitivity will make your heart happy if you are one who has been freed from chains that held you back. If you are a in a bondage as you read, it is my friend’s prayer and ours as well, that you would be made free through the naked truth.

The name “Chain Breakers” is not just a neat club name and mission statement. It is also an homage to the oft stated resource of MyChainsAreGone.org, which we highly recommend. Fun fact: Aching for Eden is also mentioned in the story!

I recommend “Chain Breakers” to young people and adults as well, who are open minded enough to have faith like a child to reclaim the innocence and wonder of our created state.

Here are some of my favorite quotes:

Caleb held up a hand. “If you could, would you want to see porn right now?” Matt and Ben stopped their frisbee catch, and both looked at Sam. He shook his head and looked at each of them for a moment. “No. I really wouldn’t. It’d seem kind of gross right now.” Ben threw a look at Sam. “Praise God from whom all blessings flow!” (p. 42)

“I’ve found that only 1% to 3% of a populace will be those who seek the truth and embrace it. In philosophy, it’s almost a given that if you find yourself in agreement with the vast majority of people, you’re on the wrong side of an issue. The problem is, most people look to the crowd to decide what to believe, who to like, and even who to vote for.” Sam looked serious. “I’d rather be right than be popular. (p. 52)

his mom said. “Everything I’ve ever been taught screams that it was wrong, but I realize now the Bible had no issue with what we did. A year ago we both would have thought all that nakedness would’ve left our boys scarred. The truth is, they both seem like it was the best thing ever for them. Sam has changed so much I’d swear he’d been abducted by aliens if I didn’t know better.” Sam gave a short laugh. “I feel a lot different too, mom.” (p. 67)

…if your brother is teaching you kids about this, he needs to learn he’s playing with fire. Being naked in mixed company is the sort of thing that causes lust and sexual problems.” Matt realized the man was trying to make a point. “And wearing clothing all the time would fix that problem?” The man nodded, trying to sound authoritative. “Of course. That’s why we have to wear proper clothing.” Matt smiled. “No. Wearing clothes is surrendering to sin. Christ dying on the cross is the only thing that gives us the ability to crucify our sinful nature. We can rely on the blood of Christ to keep us from sin. My friends and I chose to circumcise our hearts, and because of that, we see one another innocently when we’re naked, as God intended us to do.” The man looked down on Matt. “Well, you’re still young enough not to be tempted by lust, but it will cause problems when you’re older.” Ben moved forward. “You’re wrong. My brother is seventeen, and we both used to look at hardcore pornography all the time. I know what lust is, what it feels like, and what it can do to your soul. My brother and I started going naked in our everyday lives to face the sinful nature and make it flee in God’s name. We learned a lot about it on a website called MyChainsAreGone.org. Because of that, porn is disgusting to my brother and me now. Look it up on that website and see for yourself.” The man looked completely confused. (p. 130)

Grandpa said. “It was a bit different then. Things were hard, but we boys had fun. This river was a lively place back then.” “Did you and your friends skinny-dip back then?” “Well, we didn’t call it that,” Grandpa chuckled. “We just called it swimming. No one had a swimsuit like boys do today.” “Were you just that poor?” “Well, we were poor, all right, but even the wealthy boys swam naked in the river. I expect a boy swimming in shorts back then would’ve been laughed at.” “What if people saw you?” Chris asked. Grandpa chuckled. “Son, everyone saw us. No one cared, and we sure didn’t. We weren’t bashful like boys are today. If someone had seen us and acted shocked, we all would’ve just laughed.” “That’s hard to imagine,” Chris said. “Not really,” Grandpa said. “If you had been raised with us, you would’ve gotten over your shame pretty fast. In a way, I feel sorry for your generation because you can’t experience that. I think you’d feel a lot different about yourself if you did.” (p. 146)

“I didn’t mean to make everyone mad,” Ryan said. Sam smiled disarmingly. “We’re okay, Ryan. That type of thinking just really seems sick to us now that we’re away from it. It has a pull on you now, but you can escape that pull the same way we did. You can be a part of this club and be accepted, but you have to practice innocent naturism.” “The de-scummification process has begun,” Mike said. (p. 215)

“The issue about clothing is the same. Most Christians have been tricked into thinking the body is evil, and throw away freedom of the body. They cover it in shame. Today the view of the body is owned by Satan. It’s almost like he has the copyright. God’s followers won’t even talk about the body in a normal way. If a kid is curious about God’s most wonderful creation, he has to go to Satan’s realm to see the body. Satan uses that power to destroy lives with his porn and sex outside of marriage. Modern Christianity has given Satan this power. (p. 248)

The truth is that Almighty God Himself is the author of mixed, innocent nudity. God proclaimed it as good. It was Satan who taught man to be fearful of being seen naked. “Satan didn’t like seeing God walk with man in the cool of the morning. Satan hated that Man was made in God’s image, and didn’t want to see it displayed. Now the question for all of you is this: Adam sinned, and brought us all into sin. But Jesus gave Himself to save us and undo what Adam did and more. (p. 267)

I just don’t get it. Why is it so important for everyone to be naked?” “Like I was telling you,” Matt said, “it isn’t important to be naked. It’s important to be able to be naked. It’s all about strengthening the connections between your body, mind, and spirit. If those connections are strong, your whole being gets stronger, and your connection to God can grow.” (p. 289)

“Okay, you say you’d give anything. What if it costs you or your parents nothing. No money at all, no work, and only fun? What if all you had to give up was the shame, fear, and self-hatred you’re feeling now?” “And clothes,” Ben said laughing. “You’d have to wear the clothes God made for you.” (p. 300)

“Today, you’ve all seen a great deal of evidence that what these young people have done is a good thing. The world will now do everything it can to shame you out of supporting it. You all have decisions to make about how you’ll handle this. (p. 328)

Here is the author’s description of the novel:

It is Matt West’s 14th birthday, and in a tense moment Matt finds himself rescuing another teen trapped and hanging by his legs from the sharp barbed wire on top of the stadium fence. Matt helps the boy escape, but the victim’s shorts remain hopelessly bound in the barbed wire, and the boy he rescues falls to the ground naked. Kids are gathering.

In a moment that changes his life, Matt hands the injured boy his own shorts — leaving himself completely naked. Matt refuses to hide, and defiantly stares back as a kid he doesn’t like videos him. Things seemed even worse when the sheriff pulls up and his 14-year-old daughter — who Matt knows — sees him naked.

Matt becomes a hero to his family and the first responders for his self-sacrifice, yet when the video goes viral on a pornographic web site Matt suddenly learns who his true friends are, and that pornography is a horrible plague for teens and young adults everywhere.

Matt’s friends learn of a web site called MyChainsAreGone.org that helps them defeat the effect of pornography in their lives. Together they skinny-dip in an old farm pond and learn that simple, innocent nudity is a powerful tool to fight the errors of modern Christian purity thinking of the body. As they study the Bible, they face temptation and sweep it out of their lives. The teens form a club called the Chain Breakers that helps other teens in their church and town escape the porn cycle and live free. As their church is split by their understanding, an old preacher explains they have learned a truth as old as the Bible itself, and that God can use their innocent naturism.

The families of these brave young men and women get organized, and a whole new Christian ministry of healing is formed. Read along as the Chain Breakers change lives, have fun, and learn about real freedom.

If you are struggling with the effects of pornography in your life or the life of someone you love, this book has been written to help you understand you can once again have the mind of a child when it comes to lust, worldly thinking, and porn. You can join a Christian Naturist movement that has accepted the power of Christ’s sacrifice to heal the mind that has been so damaged by Satan’s lies.

David L. Hatton’s “Muse”

David L. Hatton is a man I greatly admire. Though I’ve never met him in person, we’ve spoken on the phone and texts and emails and we even pray for each other. I’ve read most of what he’s written. We endorse his other books on our resource page and have created a video from one of his poems on this post.

I was very excited when his novel “Muse” was released. I ordered some paperback copies, one to keep and a few to give away, and got the kindle version to start reading immediately. In one week I had finished reading the whole book! 

From the first plot surprise until the end of the story, the reader is in for an entertaining ride, but not only that. It is also educational and inspirational.

It’s educational in the way it espouses a rationale for the wholesomeness of a body-friendly mindset. As a Christian, I especially appreciated the way typical attitudes of Christians toward the body are challenged throughout the story. Darren, the protagonist, especially struggles through this new type of thinking which proves to be far better than the prudishness he had formerly known. I don’t want to give any spoilers, suffice to say that there are plenty of twists, turns, and surprises to keep the read interesting and enjoyable.

It’s not just an education of seeing the body as the greatest work of art, but there are also many truths espoused about how a good church should function. There are examples of shortcomings of the church as we know it today, as well as glimpses of more God-honoring expressions of how church can be “done.”

Click image to view on Amazon

“Muse” does not lack in the inspiration department. Through heartbreaks, setbacks, and overcoming obstacles for victory, your soul will enjoy Darren’s journey. Through the entire book, his commitment to keeping God at the forefront of his mind through constant prayer is both admirable and attractive. If you aren’t already praying without ceasing (1 Thes 5:17), after seeing how this young man, Darren operates his daily life, you will want to take up his practice of including the Lord in all things.

I very much enjoyed the teaching in Hatton’s “Meeting at the River.” In “Muse” the naked truth is presented a bit differently and in several real world scenarios. I greatly appreciated this real life application as it’s entirely relatable.

Again, without giving away too much of the plot, the emotional factor in these true to life realities can hit very close to home for some. I’ve met several Christian naturists who espouse the same kind of body-friendliness that Hatton describes, which just so happen to go very much against the grain of what is commonly accepted in Christian circles, so they have had major blow back in their lives as a result. “Muse” is no exception to these possibilities, as it paints its fictional picture for us.

That’s exactly the last aspect I’d like to highlight. In this book, the characters wrestle with those typical knee jerk reactions to nudity that are so prevalent, but then they see another perspective and it starts to make sense to them. That journey is one that I hope will encourage readers that have already worked through these issues. Then also, I believe it will be a great resource for those who have never considered such ideas to see the body in a new light.

Here are a few notable quotes from the book (thanks Arid Lasso for the images):

Finally Free?

Book Review:

I bought a book by Heath Lambert entitled “Finally Free.” There is much of the book that I enjoyed. I really appreciate his heart and dedication to the Lord. Sadly, I’m finding some of the same advice found in other books I’m critically reviewing, even though Heath says his is different. I will give him this, he does approach this issue a bit differently than most, but as we’ll see, it leaves me wondering if those who follow his advice will actually be “finally free.”

As in the last post of this nature, the author’s brief quotations will be bold and in quotation marks, and my comments written in real time as I read the book will be italicized. (A few of my comments have been edited for clarity.)

“Finally Free is not the typical man-centered self-help book that offers the reader shallow teachings and a hopeless future.” p. 1

I hope it’s not. But one look at the table of contents is bringing up some red flags for me.

“I have never met anyone whose life was radically changed by hearing (again) how damaging the pornography industry is and how they desperately need to think differently about it.” p. 12

I would tend to agree here. I believe thinking differently is vital and a key part in changing and having a renewed mind.

“This book is about something much better than pornography. This book is about the amazing power of Jesus Christ to free you from pornography.” p. 12

I would also say that true and lasting freedom comes by the power of the finished work of Jesus on the cross. Also, it is not my work at all. God does it aside from our own effort.

“Eagerness to be clear of pornography expresses itself in two practical ways. First, you pursue accountability. You need help in a struggle that is impossible to fight alone. Accountability entails enlisting other Christians who can help you think about strategies you have not considered, who can actively check up on you, and who will diligently pray for you. Second, eagerly seeking to clear yourself means you pursue radical measures to ensure you have no access to pornography. This enslaving sin is only defeated by drastic measures to cut it off from all angles.” p. 37

Wrong, wrong, wrong! This is just avoidance of the problem, not a solution to eliminating the problem.

“You will never be free from pornography until you acknowledge that in order to change you need the help of God through brothers and sisters in Christ.” p. 46

Is God not enough???

“Ben’s meeting with this group of guys was the only thing he was doing to fight against porn. As important as that is, it’s not enough. In other chapters, you will learn about other strategies that are needed to win the battle.” p. 47

Or more cumbersome man-made strategies that fail to do God’s redemptive work that he alone can do, and do so effortlessly.

“Sadly, this well-intentioned conversation illustrates several defective approaches to accountability.” p. 49

This chapter talks more about the problems with accountability than it does the good kind of accountability, which still, he states that it is not enough in and of itself, even when done correctly!

“God has given more spiritual authority to spiritual leaders.” p. 51

Hmm. Spiritual leaders have been woefully inadequate to quell the problem of porn and lust in the church. They have perpetuated these ideas that are not helping to eradicate the issues at the core.

“…not giving so much detail that it would fuel further temptation.” p. 53

Here he’s saying that in your accountability group you should spare everyone the details of your habits, so as to not tempt anyone else and give them ideas. I see what he’s saying, and I’ve been the victim in this. Guys in my youth group growing up were so surprised I had not masturbated in all my high school years. Their talk finally got me curious once I gained some more independence. However, this is part of the problem with traditional approaches. An honest approach would spare no detail if the resulting outcome is true freedom. It won’t be a temptation any more!

“Accountability oriented around questions and answers can devolve into a cat-and-mouse game in which the struggler provides legally precise answers that are something less than a full and open disclosure of sin. Even when the confession is totally honest, what gets confessed can easily be limited to the question asked… If you’re going to hold people accountable, you should actually hold them accountable.” p. 54-55

True victory is achieved only when there is no need of accountability.

“…true accountability requires an effort to be committed in the long term.” p. 56

No, all that is needed is a one time work of God changing how you view the body and others. It will work for the long haul easily.

“When people get lazy and stop trying, failure is not far behind.” p. 56

This is only if you do the band-aid approach and not true healing. It’s not bare-knuckling and your own will power that will bring success and victory. It’s not striving or trying harder. Change your mind, trust God, see people as made in His image, and the body as a beautiful creation, and watch failure be a thing of the past.

“Frog and Toad quickly realize that if they are ever going to stop eating cookies, they will have to do something to limit their access to them.” p. 59

This analogy is flawed. It supposed cookies are bad in and of themselves. Cookies are good. Porn is bad. While eating too many cookies is bad, just a little porn is still harmful. Bodies are not bad in and of themselves, nor is sex within God’s plan. A better analogy would be cookies that have poison in them and look similar, but are deadly. Porn is a counterfeit of godly sexuality and chaste nudity is porn’s antithesis.

“Many people struggle with pornography because it is so easy for them to get it.” p. 60

While it is easy to access, men struggle because we told them they would. Then we don’t tell them how to lose their appetite for lustful thinking. We don’t teach them to reject lies. All we offer them is sin management without true solutions.

Let me put it another way. Booze is easy to get. If you’re an alcoholic, it never ceases to be easy to access, but one has to learn to hate it and its drunken effects in order to be free of problems. As I write this, my sister in law is celebrating 10 years sober tomorrow. I’m proud of her and that she can go to the grocery store and be just fine.

“…we must act aggressively— every time we are tempted and in every way required to avoid the sin.” p. 61

How about not be tempted in the first place? That sounds to me like a better plan. And yet, it seems unfathomable to so many— like it’s the only sin Jesus can’t heal this side of heaven or something!

“The truth is that you could be all alone in a room filled with pornography and remain pure if you had no desire for it. In fact, this is the long-term goal. You will know you are finally free from pornography when you have full access to it and yet no desire for it. Though you’re not there yet, that’s where you’re headed. And in order to get there, you will need to change the way you think about pornography.” p. 63

This is SO true, and this is what I have been saying! But then what is suggested in the rest of the chapter and book is not the way to achieve this. Not at all.

“You will not have victory over pornography until you first have victory in the battles that come before you look. Foundationally, this battle begins in your heart—with your thinking.” p. 63

So renew your mind on the body and how you view others as the image of God! That’s the heart and mind shift needed and that God does instantly when the switch is flipped. Then, the war is over, let alone the battles.

“If you only attack the outward behavior, the problem will keep returning. You must uproot pornographic lust in your thinking, dealing with what Jesus unveils as the lustful intentions of your heart (Matthew 5: 28).” p. 64

Exactly. But these radical measures don’t do that.

“I can guarantee failure if you wait to begin the fight against porn until you are alone in the dark with your computer.” p. 64

Not if transformation has taken place!

“…there are three radical measures you can take with regard to your thinking.” p. 64

Nope, there’s only one, one time.

“…reach out for help.” p. 65

Repentance is not needed if you are healed, remember scriptures to thank God, you won’t have to reach out for help!

“…you must limit the time you spend alone—” p. 66

Doesn’t sound like freedom, but another type of bondage!

“I realize that after reading this, some of you are freaking out. Reading about these radical measures raises all sorts of objections…” p. 71

No, I’m freaking out because this is bad advice. The “cure” needs to solve problems, not create more problems. Again, this isn’t true healing! They are cumbersome methods of sin management, and unnecessary. 

“You can try to remove porn’s availability. You can eliminate your time alone. Yet you will still seek out porn if you desire it. This is why Jesus and the good news of the gospel is the only sure hope for those who want to be free from porn. Only Jesus has the power to change your heart desires, and he does this as you believe in his forgiving and transforming grace.” p. 72

This contradicts the whole chapter! Again, I agree, it’s only Jesus. It just doesn’t have to be a long journey and his work is done outside of your own effort or involvement! This advice is so ineffective if you are still sick! I think that was Heath’s point, but it’s a caveat that goes contrary to the rest of his content and advice.

“Outward radical measures do not change your desires…” p. 73

Another admission of man-man strategies not working at the heart level.

“These external measures are the first steps of change…” p. 73

In my experience, and that of thousands of other brave and outside the box thinkers, there is only one step. Yes, it’s unconventional, but it makes perfect sense. One of my friends stated, he does not think true victory is achievable aside from the normalization of non-sexual nudity and the mindset that comes from embracing Imago Dei fully. I don’t know that I can go there, but there is nothing like it that works faster or better!

“Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy” (Proverbs 28: 13). p. 76

I’m including this to highlight Heath’s use of scripture throughout the book. It’s a real positive to this volume. No argument here. Confession is important, first to God, then your spouse if married, then overcome your sin, lose the need for confession, and use your knowledge and testimony to help others!

“Tom made a critical error when he confessed to his wife. After he fessed up, Tom said something foolish before either of us in the room could stop him. He commented that perhaps if she had a more active sexual relationship with him, he would not have been tempted. His wife did not take that very well. Her response was understandable because Tom’s suggestion was selfish and wrong. This kind of statement transfers the responsibility for your sin onto another person. When you sin, you are the one responsible (Mark 7: 21–23). Other people can sin against you, make your life difficult, and entice you to sin, but they can never make you sin. When you sin, it is always your fault, and you should never say or do anything to make it sound like the fault lies elsewhere. If someone did sin against you, it is necessary to bring that up only after you have confessed and taken full responsibility for your own sin (Matthew 7: 1–5).” p. 85

I really appreciate this from Heath. This type of garbage (if I may be so bold) is believed and even taught in many Christian circles. I’m glad Heath recognizes this type of thinking, anticipates the objections, and swiftly refutes them. This is one of the ways this book is different than some others.

“Do you notice something about my effort to quit thinking about my old gray car? It isn’t working. Even though I’m trying really hard to quit thinking about that unpleasant automobile, my efforts are ineffective. Every thought that goes through my mind—though motivated by a desire to quit thinking about the car—only presses the image of it deeper into my mind. I need another strategy. My problem is that I am focusing on the very thing I want to stop thinking about. Instead, I need to start thinking about something else—something different.” p. 90

This is interesting. I submit that you have to reframe how you think about the body and other people. No one is an object. A person is more than the sum of their parts, way more! We know this instinctively, perhaps, but we still dehumanize others all the time. We have to think of human beauty as “very good” like God said at the beginning. We have to think of others as beautiful (not in the shallow ways of the world). We have to love and respect others. Humankind is the pinnacle of God’s creation. When we look through the pornographic mindset we will see temptation. When we see others as God does, temptation is non-existent.

“Jamie grew up in a nominally Christian, conservative home. When he left for college, he was what most would consider a good kid—responsible and hardworking. Jamie wasn’t at college for long before he became involved with a group of young men who introduced him to pornography. Jamie loved it. He had never seen a naked woman before and had certainly never seen sex. Jamie loved porn because it allowed him to enjoy women who, he believed, were prettier than anyone he could ever have a relationship with in real life, all without any fear of rejection. Porn was so easy and so fun that Jamie couldn’t get enough of it. At first he was shy about walking into a store to buy it, but he quickly got over his initial embarrassment. Eventually he placed a huge bookcase in his living room full of nothing but pornographic videos. Any shame he once had about using pornography was now gone… Jamie’s porn collection had grown so large that it now took up almost the entire basement. He would return home from work and descend into the basement to indulge in porn late into the night. He was often late for work because he had no strength to get out of bed after late nights watching actors fornicate on screen. Alyssa wanted out of the marriage. By now, however, she had given birth to twin daughters and was worried about how she could raise a family by herself. She tried fighting for her marriage to no avail. Jamie had moved a bed into the basement and would hardly speak to her. He lost his job and spent all of his time in the basement instead of looking for employment. One afternoon Jamie came upstairs and asked one of his daughters to come into the basement and play. Alyssa took the girls and left. Jamie is now in his sixties. He doesn’t have a job and lives with his elderly father. All he does, day after day, is look at porn. He doesn’t care about work, his ex-wife, or his grown daughters. He is a miserable sight to see. He is unshaven, has missing teeth, smells bad, and wears dirty clothes. Talking to him is nearly impossible, as it seems he doesn’t even know how to have a relationship with a real person anymore. Jamie’s story is a bad one. In fact, you might read this and feel pretty good right now, congratulating yourself that you’re not nearly as bad as he is. You might also be thinking you would never let your problem get so extreme. If so, you are missing the entire point of Proverbs 5.” p. 103

This is a very sad story. I agree with Heath that we should never justify our issues by saying they aren’t as bad as someone else’s. What sticks out to me in this tragic tale is, “He had never seen a naked woman before.” Had non-sexual nudity been normalized for him, instead of growing up sheltered and repressed, this would be a different story. This is why my wife is naked at times around my teenage boys. We believe this is the way to porn-proof them. They know what a real woman looks like, and are learning that there’s just not much of an allure or mystery to a body. It’s just a body. It’s not the big deal that others make it out to be. They are learning to despise pornography for the way it objectifies and creates a false fantasy, and they are seeing real love and commitment in their parent’s example. Where I was once powerless to help them as they grow, now I have the knowledge and experience to share with them and have them be different than their peers.

“I don’t think your wife should fill that role [accountability]. You should treat your wife as your wife. She should be free to treat you as her husband. It is a deadly poison for a marriage when a wife becomes a cop policing her husband’s activity, asking him all kinds of questions, and examining his Internet reports. Your wife needs to know you have a faithful accountability partner doing those things so she can have peace of mind as she focuses her energy on being married to you.” p. 104

No, she needs peace of mind knowing that she can trust you without any accountability! Trust me, this is better. I’ve had accountability partners, and against Heath’s advice, I’ve had my wife fill that role. I actually had her give me a chip for every month I’d been “good.” She could usually tell when I was lying or when I’d “fall off the wagon.” Now I don’t need any accountability or any software, and we are loving life and each other like never before.


As stated, much of Heath’s book was enjoyable and good. These would be parts where I took issue. The differences are glaring. My experience flies in the face of the radical measures Heath suggests, in exchange for an even more radical measure, but just one. That said, Zondervan would probably not publish my book!

Woefully Inadequate

I have a habit of looking intently at what the Christian world is saying about pornography addiction. The good thing is it’s being talked about more openly. The bad thing is that conventional Christian wisdom on the subject is woefully inadequate. I wrote some about this in the post titled “Save your money, sanity, and dignity!” I mentioned in that post that I may feature some books I’ve read along with the notes I took while reading them. I read material hoping to find something different and something that actually works, but even those who claim to be different recycle the same sad ideas that are failing miserably. Today, I’ll cover just one chapter. I bought this book because I knew there would be one chapter dedicated to lust and pornography. I love reading on kindle and highlighting certain parts and adding notes. I hate it when I see the same ole tired advice, however.

Before I get into the quotes and notes (with limited commentary) I have to share a few qualifiers. 

First of all, my critiques are not ever directed toward the good hearted individuals promoting these ineffective strategies. In this case Patrick Morley has made a tremendous impact on men’s ministry for thousands and thousands of men over the years. I’m grateful to him and others and their positive contributions and ministries. I’m sure this book is wonderful. I just found this particular chapter to be lacking.

Second, since I’ve found true and lasting freedom with no help from popular techniques or practices, I’ve become very passionate about the truth and that can sometimes come across as arrogant. This is never my intent. I have to constantly remind myself that I thought the same way most of my life. Now that I’ve overcome what was once thought to be virtually impossible to eliminate, I have to be careful not to be harsh toward those who can’t fathom this level of freedom.

The book I bought to read is “The Christian Man: A Conversation About the 10 Issues Men Say Matter Most” by Patrick Morley. Chapter 8 is ironically (in my opinion) called “Lust: The Right Way to Deal with This Powerful Drive” – I say ironically, because I didn’t see a right way in there. In fact, the big idea for this chapter is: “the practical solution to lust for most men is to get married and enjoy regular sex with their wife.” My reaction is: Seriously? That’s the best you can do? That’s just purity culture all over again. Marriage doesn’t guarantee fidelity and integrity! I thought that would fix my issue. How many others thought the same? That’s what we were told. It’s a lie. Even a good marriage and good regular sex is no solution if you have a perverted way of thinking.

Ok, let’s get to the quotes and then my notes (his words will be bold and in quotation marks while my reaction will be in italics):

“I have always felt too uncomfortable to teach this material in depth at the Man in the Mirror Bible Study until, essentially, I was forced to as part of my preparation for writing this chapter!”

Being so unformfortable with a topic, that you were forced to look at it does not bode much confidence in your level of expertise in this area.

“I don’t know how it could be any clearer: If you have chosen marriage, Satan will tempt you if you don’t have regular sex. If you want to go on a “sex fast,” you can, but only by mutual agreement and not for long. To be blunt, if you’re not horny, you’re more likely to exercise self-control. Bottom line: Our sexual design is a powerful, primal force. Having regular intimate relations with our wives is the biblical solution to block the corruption of that design by sexual immorality, including lust.”

I’ve written and re-written this comment a few times as it’s a touchy subject but it is the crux of the matter with my and many others’ frustration with popular Christian teaching on sex, especially “obligation sex.” The underlying premise is that men are are highly susceptible to sexual temptation if their wives aren’t meeting their “God-given” needs enough. I believed this type of mindset for most of my life until I rejected it as the lie it is. Much could be said here, and I will probably expand on this topic in an future article all by itself. For now, let me direct you to a podcast by some ladies (Sheila Wray Gregoire and company) who are working hard to undo a lot of the harm that comes with this teaching. They talk openly and frankly about many items which aren’t brought up very often, such as consent and marital rape. They give voice to 20,000 women surveyed in their research (that’s a massive study and important data!). While they are asking hard questions and pointing out valid problems, in my opinion they don’t go far enough with solutions, but they are at least moving in the right direction. The sad truth is unhealthy men in many cases can abuse their wives in several ways while appearing to be godly in the process. Those are startling words to take in, but unfortunately I believe them to be true. I was once complicit in these types of abuses, that are typically overlooked. Give this podcast a listen if you have the courage to do so. 

Patrick makes a common disclaimer here in quoting 1 Corinthians 7 allowing for moments of temporary abstinence by “mutual agreement” in order to distance himself from any allegation or criticism of this nature. And while he would not condone any of the evils I’ve mentioned, this is often the logical end result of the ideas being perpetuated even in his own quote, if you read between the lines. This is so common in these resources! The consequences can be quite tragic. We need to be better!

“This is not a chapter on how to have great sex, but on how to deal with lustful thoughts.”

Deal with lustful thoughts? How about eliminating them?

“Every man is wired by God to appreciate beauty of all kinds—sunrises, mountain vistas, newborns, soccer, and so on. But a woman falls into an altogether different and exclusive category.”

Why? Says who? Surely not the same God as we see in Genesis 1-2?

…men think about sex nineteen times a day on average.”

They’ve been conditioned to do so. That was the case with me. Not anymore.

“As men, the main way we experience sexual attraction and arousal is through sight.”

That’s the lie that abounds. I think an exclusive and intimate relationship is a better way to attraction and arousal with your wife and with her alone. I’ll write a piece called “The wife of your youth” soon to explore more on this.

“He [David] didn’t go up to his roof to look for a naked woman so he could be sexually aroused (provided that’s true, and I think we can plausibly assume it’s true).”

David’s sin of adultery was probably premeditated. I think it’s likely that he went up there for that very reason. It was a common occurrence, and he knew what he was doing and sought it out, and when seeing wasn’t enough, he had to have Bathsheba.

“[We can also be] surprised by a sensuous waitress, the suggestively dressed coed who attracts your attention at the gym, a sex scene you didn’t seek out… Sex, of course, is everywhere. But in our cultural moment, seduction is inescapable. We’re bombarded. The visage of a shapely woman walking down the street comes to mind, or a scantily clad model who suddenly appears while scrolling through what should be a harmless news feed. But these images burst into our minds like a guest who doesn’t knock. When a sex scene comes on your screen, is that for you a temptation to lust or the sin of lust? It depends. It’s not lust to “stumble” onto a temptation.”

This is the tragic reason why men are so weak and frankly immature; we tell them over and over that these little situations are so dangerous. It’s sickening! We must always be on guard if we haven’t renewed our minds on how we view the body and other human beings, made in the image of God! Once you remove the desire in the first place, temptation goes away completely.

“It was a bare-knuckles brawl between old habit and new commitment. My face was half twisted toward her, but my eyes bulged out to stay glued on those peas. ‘Finally the battle began to subside. A few moments later it was over. I had won. God gave a spiritual victory. I still am tempted to lust, but God has given me the power to have victory every time I ask him to help.’”

This is a story about a guy focusing all his attention on 3 peas on his plate to avoid looking at a “very sensual woman.” What a terrible way to live! And it’s unnecessary.

“[His] wife, Sarah, asked him, ‘Are you intentionally not looking at other women?’ When Mike said, ‘Yes,’ Sarah said, ‘You have no idea how secure it makes me feel to know that you only have eyes for me.’’

I had a similar experience with my wife, but now I have seen that the covenant with my eyes which Patrick is referring to from Job 31:1-4 is not as he describes it here. And in the verse’s immediate context it refers to the thoughts. It’s not about what you see, but how you react and think about what you see. Bouncing your eyes solves nothing!

“There’s no reason you can’t make it your covenant too. I did many years ago. I haven’t been able to keep it fully, but I’ve sure done a lot better having made the commitment than not.

Exactly- you won’t keep it fully until you change your mindset. Then it will be easy to keep it and fully.

“Job’s covenant requires will power—your will and God’s power.”

I know it can’t be, but it sounds like you’re saying God’s power isn’t enough. The logical deduction is that God needs us. That’s just not true. As long as you believe that, you won’t see God’s power and transforming effect, because you think he needs your involvement. He’s powerful enough regardless of any of our efforts. Our will power is feeble and frail. We need God plus nothing.

“Let’s be honest: you can’t resist googling something you shouldn’t or thumbing through the Victoria’s Secret catalog on your own—at least not every time. If you haven’t already done so, consider making “Job’s covenant” right now as a call to action. That’s what Mike did.”

Let’s be honest, even though Mike made this covenant, he’s going to fail because you told him as much, and didn’t offer him real hope or a better alternative.

“He [David] graduated from “seeing” her to “watching” her. Instead of turning away, he stared.”

This is predatory behavior from someone who is conditioned to think these desires are unavoidable. Instead of preying on any woman, I’d rather be a protector of all women.

At this point it was either turn away or lust was inevitable.”

Aha! There it is. The notion that lust is inevitable is so strong in Christian books. It’s like we can’t imagine our men being equally as strong or mature!?

“Lust is sexual desire out of control.”

No, it’s just the desire. If you remove that desire, you have nothing to have to control. The commandment against killing my brother is so easy to keep, because there’s no desire to do so (hopefully)!

“Adultery type 2 is mentally having sex with someone not your wife, or lust.”

Absolutely agree! No argument here. This is part of what is missing in the usual discussions.

“Nevertheless, ‘mental’ adultery is not the same as “physical” adultery.”

Wait just a second, didn’t you (and Jesus for that matter) say it was the same? It IS the same and needs to be viewed as the same. There are some different ramifications, granted, but it still is adultery. As long as we make distinctions, we won’t treat it with the same severity, and we need to.

“You can’t commit adultery with your own wife.”

Yes you can. It would help to study some of Pope John Paul II’s “Theology of the Body” to better understand both lust and purity of heart. 

“What I’m about to tell you is opinion—please read it accordingly. You can masturbate and not sin.”

I suppose it’s a matter of opinion and conviction. I’ve determined as a married man to have my wife’s direct involvement with any and all of my orgasms. It’s been surprisingly simple to keep to this. It doesn’t feel cumbersome. It’s a joy to have and honor this conviction.

“When you see a beautiful woman and feel an attraction, here’s what you should do: Pause and say, ‘Thank you, God, for this beautiful woman whom you have reverently and wonderfully made. I pray she knows you, or one day will know you, the way I know you.’ And then move on.”

This is ok. This is some good advice. I appreciate this; I just don’t think it goes far enough. To renew your mind is to see the other person as a whole person (not just an object), an image bearer, beautiful and deserving of love, respect, and dignity on that basis alone. I’d rather die than objectify another human being reducing them to the sum of their parts. That’s the mind change.

“Look once, you’re human; look twice, you’re a man; look three times, you just disrespected your wife.”

Not just disrespected. You’ve committed adultery in your heart because you looked with intent.

“Nobody is forcing us to lust. Lust is our own fault.”

True. It’s our fault alone- not our hardwiring or any external stimuli. So no excuses! And no more pressuring wives to “put out” more or “be more sexy” in the guise of protecting you from having a lust problem. That’s victim blaming and it’s wrong and gross. Why can’t we see this?

“Here are several practical examples of how you can flee sexual temptation:”

These, like so much advice given, are mere avoidance techniques and sin management. We have to do more than treat the symptoms of a greater and more dangerous disease. We have to kill it at the root and eradicate the problem. Or using another metaphor, don’t just brush away the cobwebs, which will surely come back as long as the spider lives! See Romans 8:13.

“Give a brother or your small group permission to hold you accountable…”

You can lie and fake it.

“Even if you have a group of men asking you weekly, “Have you sought out any sexually explicit materials this week?” you can still lie to them.”

Thank you.

“Run as fast as you can from any group that reinforces the notion that all men “struggle” with lust and so it’s acceptable. Men in those groups can rarely testify to God’s power to change their lives in this area.”

My point exactly. It’s better to not even have the need for accountability in the first place. 

“…was still struggling with unwanted sexual behavior. He said, “PG-13 gives me hungry eyes.”

I like that term “hungry eyes” – it describes so many men today and myself at one time. The problem is you are opting for junk food instead of a gourmet meal that is a healthy and loving committed relationship with your wife (if married). Hungry and thirsty should describe your desire for righteousness not for sexually provocative and relationally empty conquests.

“He said, ‘I had a broken mind.’”

Yes, indeed. But behold, Jesus is making ALL things new, including your mind, if you’ll let him (Revelation 21:5, Romans 12:1-2).

“…the leader of a ministry that specializes in sexual purity said, ‘One hundred percent disclosure in brokenness, humility, continued transparency, and confession to the people you care about is the only way out.’”

Nope. The only way out is not confession, but a redeemed mind to see others as God sees them.

“Steve has now been free from bondage to pornography for three years. ‘I’m still tempted all the time,’ he said. ‘But now I immediately text my wife and tell her what’s happening.’”

He is SO not free! It breaks my heart that this is viewed as success. I have been free for three years, but I’m no longer tempted. And it’s been so different than the 20 years prior! I know it’s a permanent change, not just temporary victory. I’ve had sustained times of victory in the past, but always with a constant struggle. Now, the struggle is gone. It does not have to be every man’s battle!

“Objectifying women and thinking about sex constantly became a daily struggle.”

Objectifying is the key word. But again, it’s only a struggle because you think it will be. We have this unhealthy fixation on certain body parts due to a hyper-sexualized culture and the constant warnings about it from the church, which only serve to reinforce this dehumanizing view of other people.

“Today, Miguel is living in victory over pornography. He said, ‘That doesn’t mean I’m not tempted. I still have pornographic images pop into my mind, and I’m not perfect.’”

Miguel’s story as told by Patrick is a very sad story, and I’m glad it’s better, but this is still NOT full victory!

“…they can be free from compulsive behavior, but it’s going to be a lifelong battle. They’re going to be tempted every day.”

No, no, no!!

“Miguel, who now lectures on porn and sexual purity…”

What? After what I know of Miguel from this story, it seems like the blind leading the blind.

“[Miguel’s] own intentional plan…”

This is indeed “his own” plan. He and so many others. It’s not God’s plan. God, the only one needed for immediate, lasting, and permanent change, is sorely missing in this awful plan.

“Confess to everyone you can—”

Or just to God and your wife (if you’re married). Get the real solution and then help others with your testimony.

“Ask them to monitor your computer with software like Covenant Eyes.”

Save your money and be trusted without these aids. Again, you’re not truly free if you have to depend and rely on these filters. 

“Purge all pornographic content from your home, your devices, your social media accounts, etc. Delete apps, people, websites, etc. that may be triggering lust.”

Trade one bondage for another, it would seem. And still not be free from either!

“The best way to overcome temptation is to not put yourself in a position where you will be tempted.”

Wouldn’t the very best test of whether you are free or not be to spend time in the place that is unthinkable, where temptation is all around you (say like a nude beach)? If you are fine, then you are truly free! I know this sounds crazy and unconventional and like the worst advice. But it worked for me and for thousands of others and a true cure to pornography and lustful thinking.

“When you fail—and you will—”

I’m wondering why I wasted my time on this chapter if you, like other authors, are just admitting defeat here!

“Ed Cole, a pioneer in men’s ministry, wrote a story in his magnum opus, Maximized Manhood, about a men’s retreat in Eugene, Oregon…”

This was a good story and a good point that’s worth reading. But then I still was asking how those men are going to overcome their longings after repenting? It will continue being a struggle and temptation, as long as you think it will be.


I want to end with a story he used to open and set up this chapter on lust. It shows just how pervasive the habits of thinking sexually like the world have become, even among those who are supposed to be leading spiritually. I don’t want to be too critical of the pastors in this story, because that would’ve been me too, as long as I believed the lie that all men are visual, etc.


“At a conference away from home, several pastors went to lunch together and were waited on by a strikingly beautiful, sensuous waitress. You could hear the sexual energy crackle in the air. The temptation they felt to lust was so arresting that each man muttered his order into his menu so as not to stare. As she exited into the kitchen to place their orders, they all sat speechless staring at their place mats. As Mark Rutland told the story to our Bible study group, the senior man finally broke the ice in his own inimitable way. “Well, God hath made the heavens and the earth.” They all nodded in agreement. “Oh, yes.” Then he said, “And all that is in them hath God made.” “Yes, that’s right,” they agreed. “And also all humanity hath God made,” he continued. “Yes, God made humanity,” they chimed in perfect cadence. Then the older pastor nodded his head toward the kitchen door where their waitress had just disappeared and said, “And God hath made some nifty humanity, hath he not?” They all howled, and the spell was broken… If even pastors can be so easily tempted to lust, one thing should be crystal clear: no man is immune from the temptation to lust. As one man put it, ‘My three greatest temptations are money, pride, and bikinis.’ Any man who says he doesn’t struggle with the temptation to lust is lying. Plain and simple.”

Good writing, but my experience and the testimony of many new friends causes me to vehemently disagree. Or I guess I’m lying! (I’m not.)

See more posts on lust by clicking here.

David L. Hatton’s “Meeting at the River”

David L. Hatton’s “Meeting at the River” is a sort of parable-like fictional narrative with opportunities to present ideas throughout. I liken it to William P. Young’s The Shack, in that regard, although a completely different subject matter. Here is Hatton’s own description of the book:

“In this semi-autobiographical, fictional tale and intellectual treatise, my divided view of the body is challenged by an encounter with the past. As a bivocational pastor and nurse, I’m shocked when some from a religious crowd in ancient dress disrobe at my favorite swimming hole to be baptized totally naked! Antiquity offers a fatal blow to the old wall in my mind that keeps my experiences of hospital nudity from confronting the taboos of my upbringing. When that wall topples, I gain a new perspective on life in Bible times, a deeper theological appreciation of human embodiment, and a pricked conscience about the root cause of our culture’s obsession with pornography. Join me in unlearning deceptions as old as Eden, in relearning truths as relevant as our children’s future, and in facing the test of my transformed thinking by the further challenge of four skinny-dipping Bible college students.”

With that backdrop, I’d like to share some of my favorite selections from my reading of the book and what it means to me. 

“When certain portions of the body are concealed and considered evil to look upon, the normal curiosity of youth about what is hidden leads to temptation.

Then, upon exposure, the sight of those forbidden areas can wound the conscience. Even worse, these conditions empower the wicked to make a show of those hidden parts for truly corrupt purposes, even to enslave young souls in lustful thoughts.”

This is the elder speaking at the river to explain what a healthy and godly view of the body is. His words certainly resonate with me. This was my experience growing up. From the first time I saw “certain portions of the body” at an early age and was taught to avoid it, temptation abounded. I was a young soul enslaved in lustful thoughts, and grew into a man who was equally enslaved. After embracing a renewed view of the body, I was elated that these problems vanished. As Hatton so eloquently put it, “Prudery lays the groundwork for a pornographic mindset.”

“When sermons teach that [Bathsheba’s] beauty caused King David’s lust, they expound not the words of Scripture but the minds of preachers.”

I had been conditioned to only react one way (sexually) to any sight of nudity. This nagging issue stunted my spiritual growth, strained my marriage, and affected how I saw members of the opposite sex (even fully clothed). I hated myself for how I would objectify women and wanted to rid myself of this bondage once for all. But common methods afforded by the church world didn’t work. The problem was never in the dress or undress of women around me or on screens. The problem was my own mind.

“When people teach that the human body is dirty or obscene, it creates fertile ground for pornography. This is why porn addiction is so strong in our society, even among Christians. Our culture is inundated with a sexualized view of the body. I’m sorry to say that the church has been a key player in spreading that idea.”

I’m sorry to say that so have I. But that will be no more. As a Christian leader, I used to think I was a pretty good guy with a bad secret. But now I know that in reality, I’m a pretty bad guy with a great secret. The great secret is that God forgives and renews, and lustful thinking does not have to be a lifelong struggle. I used to think I’d never kick my bad habits. I’d hear older men speak of ongoing issues with their thought life. I didn’t want to be that, and by God’s grace I won’t be. 

Then comes the issue of prudery for the sake of modesty. As if there’s not enough guilt and shame going on without adding a bunch on top. Hatton addresses what modesty actually is and should be understood as being:

“Holy humility is the divine modesty humans need. When fully embraced, it brings death to shame. By humbly and gratefully accepting what we really are, we never feel less than we are when naked, nor more than we are when finely dressed. This bathing at the river, where nothing is hidden, quickly unravels the immodesty of pride. At the same time, being accepted in your humble nakedness, by friends and family and others, is healing. It breaks the bondage to ungodly shame over the size or shape or blemishes of the body that God has given you.”

Some of the modern attempts at modesty actually fly in the face of what Paul was instructing Timothy and the church in the New Testament. They are a source of pride, and not humility, which is the point. Simply covering certain body parts may actually incite more lust, drawing attention to it and stimulating the imagination, than if the mystery were revealed and the humble unclad body were seen in its entirety. 

It’s sad how much of an effect our culture has on us. Without a renewed mind, we could be tempted to think that anyone who does not look like a model is less beautiful. I reject that notion outright. Body shame is shameful. All humans are God’s image bearers and deserve respect as such.

“Christians will never have a radical reformation in how they view the naked body, until they can distinguish their devotion to culture from their understanding of Scripture.”

The twisted part of Christian thought when it comes to the body is that a girl in a bikini in a suggestive pose is somehow more decent and less obscene than a woman wearing no clothes just going about her day as normal. Which is natural and which is unnatural? The thinking is backwards. I’ve been complicit in both spreading that idea and falling victim to it’s deceitful outcomes. I used to always repent of my secret sin. Now I must repent of having taught the dangerous ideas that once entrapped me and enslave so many today. As Hatton summarizes: 

“God cannot bless the deception of body shame. Nor does He ever cease to bless our naked flesh as a sanctuary for His presence. He never calls what is good evil. Nor will He sanction errors about His incarnated image, even if His own children preach them. Such lies are a great stumbling block, leading multitudes to trip and fall into the very pit they warn against. And because church leaders have adopted and spread this as though it were part of the Gospel itself, then it is their duty to repent and make restitution.”

Quotes from “Christian Body”

Christian Body: Modesty and the Bible by Aaron Frost was one of the first books my wife and I read together after we began our journey into Christian naturism. I distinctly remember finishing it over a long weekend at a little cabin, spent entirely as created (nude). It was a special time, but as we read and highlighted certain quotes, I recall we both got fairly angry. What upset us as we read, was not the content itself, but rather that we had missed these fundamental principles for most of our lives. It angered us that our family, and Christian community was living the lie still, and completely unaware of the dangerous side effects of what we often call “modesty.”

We highlighted many passages– too many to cover in this short article, but for sake of time, let’s dive right into a few quotes from the book.

“The biblical response to pornography is not to cover the body, but to oppose sexual objectification with a shining example of Godly people who are not overpowered by the sight of God’s creation, but instead appreciate one another in our natural forms with honor, respect, and dignity.”

I had looked into Christian Naturism many years ago. I, like so many of those around me, disregarded it as implausible being raised with standards of “modesty.” That upbringing, however, did not stop me from developing an ongoing struggle with pornography. When I explored it further, I came to see that simple nudity and pornography are two very different things. My problem, which would overpower me, was the objectification of the body, not the sight of it. My mind equated it with a sexual connotation, not as God’s creation. As a result, I did not treat it with honor, respect, or dignity. That is the key to no longer be overpowered by lust. Respect and appreciation of God’s creation.

However eye-opening this was, here’s some of the parts that made us mad:

“When God first asked, “Who told you that you were naked?” it was apparently Satan who had told them this, but now it is missionaries who carry Satan’s message for him telling unaware people around the world that they are naked… For many cultures, which did not previously have a sexually perverted perception of the body, Christians have manufactured indecency where it never before existed… By this method, Christians in the name of so-called ‘modesty’ have spread some of the worst moral pollution around the world through bigoted and legalistic perceptions of morality that draw from pagan culture rather than God’s Word.”

Strong words in a harsh tone, but one that is deserved. I believe Christians aren’t knowingly and purposefully propagating these harmful ideas. That’s the clever and shrewd enemy, Satan. I’m angry at him. It took most of my life to learn we had been duped! 

Here is another example:

“Today, the once honorable and principled Japanese culture has largely adopted our Victorian modesty concept, and as a result has developed an exploding pornography and sex-trafficking trade and a deeply perverted culture of dysfunctional sexuality thanks to missionaries who bring Satan’s message telling the people that they are naked.”

And later he says, “We are making fools of ourselves and actively promoting the very error that has helped cause much of the perversion in our society!”

I’m sure that was never the intent of these missionaries, but they themselves have lived under the lie that began in the garden of Eden. Nakedness was a part of everyday life in Bible times, but the church embraced the lie early on.

“In today’s cultural climate, depictions of nudity are hastily labeled as pornography and strictly censored in many circles, but archeology frequently discovers original depictions of daily life in Bible times where workers, bathers, and the poor went about their business completely naked without any immoral innuendo or religions censure. This matches the unremarkable nudity mentioned several times in the Bible. Public nude bathing was a common practice for both Jews and Christians before, during, and after the time of Christ, and these nude bathing places were neither preached against nor even avoided by Jesus (John 5:1-7)… These ruined works of art show that the disdain and revulsion we hold for nakedness today did not always exist and was not originally contrary to Christianity but was introduced later and caused believers to go back and deface their historical artwork. The ‘Christian’ idea of indecency was an entirely foreign concept in early churches until long after the time of Christ.”

My wife and I had never really thought about this before. There were even some pictures of this censorship that we saw for the first time in this book. We only knew what we had grown up believing, which is what our well intentioned parents taught us, which they learned from their parents, and so on.

I suffered from an addiction to pornography and my wife had her own body issues. The collective wisdom of the church on these issues was not very helpful at all. This book eloquently stated for us how we had both achieved a lasting and permanent victory in both our areas of debilitating struggles.

“Men have consistently reported that this brought them victory over their struggle with pornography, and many women have discovered a new level of self-acceptance and confidence in the bodies God gave them after years of jealousy and debilitating insecurities. These are wonderful things that the family of God ought to be standing for rather than fighting against!”

“Unfortunately well-meaning, but very misguided Christians are often the most vocal group fighting against this freedom. Those who expend the most effort to keep themselves from the temptation of ‘worldly’ immodesty are the most hypersensitive and vulnerable to sexual temptation and addiction… I have been saying for some time now that if we were to remove modesty standards completely, the degrading, shameful pornography issue would wither and die a silent, forgotten death and many, many dysfunctional sexual vices in our culture would melt into obscurity.”

As I read, it was confirmation of what God had done in my life to eradicate this problem area for me. My wife began to see the changes in me and how what I would tell her about her own issues was also true. We both found freedom, and I pray that many others do as well. I vow that my children will not fall into the same traps that I fell into, and that my daughter would see herself as a beautiful creation of God, worthy of both respect and admiration. I pray the church would repent of its willful pride, misguided interpretation of modesty, and blind loyalty to the attitude of our enemy in seeing God’s crowning glory in creation as obscene and dirty. Sadly, the true filth is a mind that has not been renewed to see others as God does.