At Aching for Eden, we want to be a resource that provides helpful information to people wherever they are in their journey. Many of our naturist friends find themselves in the difficult spot of being a solo naturist in their marriages. It is often very hard for wives, especially, to adopt the naturist attitude and mindset. Both society and religious conditioning are very strong and often antithetical to the wholesome values of ethical, non-sexual social nudity.
What can be done when a spouse is reluctant to even consider understanding naturist principles and philosophies? We, of course, would counsel prayer in these instances. The transformation is a spiritual one, and there is an invisible battle being waged to keep people in bondage to issues that are seemingly insurmountable to overcome, like body shame and other traumas. Chapter 10 of our book, “Surprised Into Freedom- the effortless obliteration of lust and body shame” is all about The Real Enemy. It includes a very personal true story about when Mrs. Phil was contemplating naturism. Awareness of this struggle and prayer against it is vital.
Gentleness is always advised. Even when you are fully convinced in your own mind (Romans 14:5) and passionate about the topic, always be kind, gentle, and understanding.
Never pressure. It’s a mistake to put pressure on our wives and move at a faster pace. Sometimes a quick and virtually painless transformation can take place. I consider myself very fortunate in our story! But oftentimes, it’s a slow process, and pressuring before processing has taken place can set you back even more. That’s not to say there is never a place for gentle nudges and opportunities for them in safe environments to try some baby steps. These could include nudity in the home (when not being sexually intimate), or reading one of these articles, or skinny dipping in a pool or hot tub with sufficient privacy.
Be patient. You might be tempted to lose hope, having followed all of these pointers. I was on a Zoom call the other day, and one guy said he’s been a naturist for about 16 years. His wife has been one for 3. He said he made a lot of mistakes, but he didn’t give up the hope that one day his wife might enjoy the practice with him by her side.
I wanted to keep this short and link to various other posts already on the site that expand these concepts at a deeper level. When there is a large site with lots of content, it’s hard to find exactly what you’re looking for by just browsing or even searching keywords. That’s why I’ve gone through and linked some of the best of our resources for wives in this situation.
The other good thing about this list is it features something I can never deliver: a women’s perspective. I think it’s a key point to have women hear from other women who are more relatable to them.
So here is our list of our top articles for wives:
Aching for Eden 
I appreciate yall helping us with this. It’s definitely a common problem. my wife and I fought about 2 things, her calvinism and my naturism I gave up the fight on both of them just to have some peace. when I quit being anti calvinism she quit being hard core calvinist. No change on the naturism though. It sucks but there is less fighting, I think the Lord has made it easier for me than I expected. I think it helps to think of life and marriage less in terms of enjoyment and more in terms of it being a grinding wheel of sanctification, sometimes your face is pressed to it and other times are not so bad. I’m way more blessed than I deserve. However I know there will be more peace for me if I never hope for wife to be a naturis.
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I’m sorry it is that way for you. Most men, it seems, give up without understanding where the problem lies. It’s the last part of God’s curse on the woman in the second half Genesis 3:16 “Your desire will be for your husband, yet he will rule over you.” The Hebrew word ‘desire’ is teshuqa (תְּשׁוּקָה) which means ‘to devour as in one’s prey.’ Also, the Hebrew word translated as ‘husband’ is actually ish (אִישׁ) which means simply ‘man.’ So, because of the curse, the woman will always want to ‘devour’ the man.
But God says the man will rule over the woman. The word ‘rule’ is mawshal (מָשַׁל) which means ‘to rule, take dominion, to reign.’ Because the woman needs the man to survive, he must rule over the woman, or else the desire to devour the man will destroy even her. When men don’t rule over the woman, particularly the woman whom he has authority over, his wife (1 Corinthians 11:3), then all manner of evil will manifest itself through her.
It is what Phil O. did for his wife in Chapter 10 of their book, Surprised into Freedom. She was being viciously attacked and mocked by demons, and he ruled over his wife when he held her tight, prayed for her, and was the man for her.
Most men who call themselves Christians seem to be terrified to rule over their wives. They believe such things as this Christian man does: “[T]he sexual and feminist revolutions of the twentieth century were right to challenge certain roles conventionally limited to one or the other gender…” God never said that feminism was good. God never said a woman should be treated like a man. God never said a woman should be paid the same as a man for the ‘same’ work. (When I was growing up in the 60s & 70s, women routinely said they should not be paid the same as a man doing the same work.)
Men are terrified to rule over the woman. But if If hadn’t, my wife would never had been free to embrace in gratefulness how God created her female body. It started because I embraced how God created me male and knew my naked male body and her naked female body are both very good. Then I refused to budge. I did not compromise that truth. I ruled. And now my wife also believes the truth: that God created both of our naked bodies as very good.
Whenever I see a Christian man believe in gender ‘fairness,’ I know he is defeated. The Christian man who I quoted, his ministry is not able to go further because he refuses to rule. God will not be mocked.
If men don’t rule over their wives because they love them, other men will rule over their wives who don’t love them.
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I agree with that, and have even said those things myself. She even prides herself on her submissiveness, and defers many things to me. Lord knows I tried to lead her into it, but she can’t go along with it with a clear conscience. In the end I saw it like I did in the beginning. A meat sacrificed to idols Rom 14 issue. I always used that to defend my naturism but in the end I saw it as a way to be obedient to Christ. Textile life would be my cross to bare. I can’t think of many ways that I suffer for the Kingdom, but this is one for me.
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